It’s hard to believe I need a sacrifice for my sins.
It’s hard to believe God would come down in the flesh and save me.
It’s hard to believe I’ve been forgiven of my past sins.
It’s hard to believe I have the power to overcome future sins.
Its hard to believe I can speak to God Almighty.
It’s hard to believe God can hear me.
It’s hard to believe I can hear Him.
It’s hard to believe God lives in me.
It’s hard to believe God loves me.
It IS hard to believe.
That’s why it takes a working of GOD to save us:
To save us from this of doubt Him.
To save us from this division from Him.
To save us from this depression within.
To save us from this darkness around.
To save us from our sins.
Oh what GRACE is HARD to comprehend!
Please LORD,
Remind me again how Your grace and mercies are new each morning.
Remind me how the blood of Jesus still cleanses;
Remind me of Your faithfulness and righteousness to forgive;
Remind me of Your presence within.
***
When I was first born again six years ago I was overly zealous for Jesus Christ. Though I shared Christ with those around me, I was trying to make others believe. I had salvation ambition and I came across as a ‘Bible thumper.’ I wanted so badly for others to be rescued out of the darkness and depression I once knew.
But what I didn’t fully realize then that I do now is this…I can’t make anyone believe, not even myself. Saving faith is a work of God.
So today I sow the Word implanted in me…I sow with my mouth, I sow with my writing, I sow with my living and I sow with my tears.
I pray and wait as God causes a growth.
May this God Friday be the day of someone’s salvation.
Everything you say is right and everyone else is wrong. It needs to be your way, you hurt people with the things you say and do but don’t care. If they hurt you, you harden your heart and cut them out of your life pretending they don’t exist.
But one day after making another selfish decision it doesn’t “feel” right. You wonder what this “feeling” is about…maybe your conscience? You shrug your shoulders and ignore the “feeling,” sometimes escaping and using things of the world to numb your heart.
This “feeling” happens often enough you begin to see other things, like how your selfishness hurts others. At first you react indifferent as if you don’t care, but deep inside you do. You begin to see “ugly” in you. It comes to the point when you can’t handle it anymore and you wonder, “Can I ever change?”
You strive to succeed. You try to be nicer to people, try to say nice things, but your thoughts reveal the authenticity of your heart…”ugly.” You still press forward and begin to do charitable deeds to feel good about yourself but it never lasts.
But one day you’re introduced to perfection—Jesus Christ. You don’t know Him but you know about Him and You want to be like Him. He’s so loving, patient and kind, all the things you know you are not. You begin going to Church, reading the Bible and you try to be like Him but fail every time. In fact, the more you read the Bible, the more you learn about the Holiness of God and the more you see your “ugly” heart and your inability to love God and others.
You “pour” out your ugly heart and begin to “mourn” and weep about the “ugly” in you. You feel hopeless and doubt there could ever be a change in your “ugly” heart. and you want a new heart. You are overwhelmed on where to begin in this change…then one day you meet Jesus for yourself and are invited into a reconciled relationship to KNOW the One that heals hurts and hearts…the scales fall of your eyes and you see:
The only One that can change your heart is the one who created you–God the Father
The only Way to get to God the Father is to be reconciled to Him for all those times you cherished your “ugly” heart and hurt Him and others
The only Way to be reconciled to the Father is through Jesus Christ
The only Way to get a new heart is to be born again
The only Way to keep this new heart unstained by the world is to walk in the Light
The only Way to walk in the Light and be Revived is to place your faith in Jesus Christ:
Believe Jesus came to save you from your “ugly” not condemn you
Believe Jesus took the sacrifice for your “ugly” and it is finished
Believe Jesus reconciled you to God the Father
Believe you have been given the resurrection power to abstain from “ugliness”
Believe Jesus is praying for you
Believe God is faithful and righteous and will continue to forgive you of your “ugly” and cleanse you
So one day you give your “ugly” dark heart to God and He takes your heart of stone and gives you a heart of flesh and puts His Spirit in you, telling you the way to go and you begin to walk in the Light.
You know you are not perfect but believe God will complete the work He began you until the day Christ returns.
As you walk in the Light with your new heart you sometimes experience that same “feeling” and see “ugly” but now you don’t ignore this “feeling” and instead you daily pour out your heart to God and turn to Him and experience a new feeling a “burning.”
This “burning” is God refining you, making you more like Christ….isn’t that what you wanted? To be like Jesus Christ? That is what our Creator, your Father wills.
*That “burning” of sinful flesh is sanctification making you more like Christ
A change of heart only comes through God by turning from your sinful ways to God and placing your faith in the finished work of Jesus Christ.
Repentance towards God and faith in The Lord Jesus Christ. Repentance and faith…is the lifestyle of a child of God.
“Turn to Me and be saved, all the ends of the earth; for I am God, and there is no other.” Isaiah 45:22
‘”For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died; and He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf.
Therefore from now on we recognize no one according to the flesh; even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him in this way no longer. Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation.
Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.”
Imagine entering into an ark, a vessel of safety for you and your family in which you built obediently with the wisdom and direction of God. You know God will send rain on the earth forty days and forty nights just as He has said. But you don’t know how LONG you will have to WAIT for the surface of the ground to be dry and when God will allow you to ‘go out of the ark’.
There were two birds that were sent out to see if the flood water were abated. These birds can represent how our minds might behave when we wait for the ‘flood’ of our circumstances to subside: the Striving Raven or the Abiding Dove.
“Then it came about at the end of forty days, that Noah opened the window of the ark which he had made; and he sent out the raven, and it flew here and there until the water was dried up from the earth.” Genesis 8:6-7
Since the raven never returned to the safety of the ark, Noah sent out another bird, the dove:
“Then he sent out a dove from him, to see if the water was abated from the face of the land; but the dove found no resting place for the sole of her foot, so she returned to him into the ark, for the water was on the surface of all the earth. Then he put out his hand and took her, and brought her into the ark to himself.” Genesis 8:8-9
Do you see the difference between the raven and the dove? The raven is like our flesh, striving and flying, never resting in the ark of safety that has been given but being self sufficient to the point of exhaustion.
The dove represents abiding peace, life and rest which comes when we RETURN to the safety of the ark. There is rest for your soul in Jesus Christ!
Are you like the raven, flying ‘to and fro’ striving to fly above this sin flooded world in your own strength? Or are you like the dove returning to the place of abiding rest in Christ?
“For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace…” Romans 8:6
If you are a Christian, you have entered into an ark of safety–you have peace with God through Jesus Christ. No matter your circumstances, be still and don’t try to ‘save yourself’ but continue to place your trust and faith in Jesus Christ. May you rest in the finished work of Christ being an ark, a vessel for the Holy Spirit to rest in by continually abidingin Christ.
**This dove also brings a message of abiding hope…{this post is to be continued….}
It doesn’t stop there…God wants us to be One with Him just as Jesus Christ prays in John 17:
“I do not ask on behalf of these alone, but for those also who believe in Me through their word; that they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me. “The glory which You have given Me I have given to them, that they may be one, just as We are one; I in them and You in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that You sent Me, and loved them, even as You have loved Me.
I know what it’s like to be one with God and in the center of His will, even in the midst of a difficult trial, and it’s PEACE! I’ve experienced the peace that surpasses all understanding and I know that’s where I want to be…in the center of God’s will. This peace is an outcome not the goal. The goal is to abide in Christ which manifests His love resulting in obedience.
As my husband and I trust in the Lord and seek His kingdom and righteousness, the Holy Spirit helps us to pray according to God’s perfect will, and God makes our paths straight with His voice behind us telling us ‘the way to go’. We know we are on the right path when we both experience unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
We do not usually know the final outcome of every situation but we choose to follow God by faith not by sight for every. surrendered. step. After all, the righteous will live by faith and righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith through the gospel.
I must confess this is not always an easy process and sometimes my husband is yielded to God’s will and I’m not or I’m yielded to God and my husband is not, and there have been other times my husband and I were united in our wills and yet not yielded to God’s will as a couple. To be out of the will of God is the worst place to be and there is NO peace but conviction, turmoil and unrest.
My husband and I know the glorious place to be is in the center of God’s will! It is NOT always easy to surrender our wills but we are learning to say like Jesus, ‘…yet not My will, but yours, be done”. We are learning to have our Garden of Gethsemane moments crying out to God, ‘Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”
We have learned we can’t be in the center of God’s will without:
Jesus Christ: “Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.” John 14:6
Love for God resulting in obedience: “Whoever has My commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves Me. He who loves me will be loved by My Father, and I too will love him and show Myself to Him.” John 14:21
Surrendering our wills: “Then Jesus said to His disciples, ‘If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.” John 16:24
The Holy Spirit: “In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.” Romans 8:26-27
Saved and reconciled to God by the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, wrapped in His righteousness and clothed with His Holy Spirit Power from on High we can now come boldly to God’s throne of grace and worship God in Spirit and in Truth. We give thanks to God! What joy and peace to know your purpose!
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him. In love, He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved. In Him (Jesus) we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace which He lavished on us. In all wisdom and insight He made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His kind intention which He purposed in Him with a view to an administration suitable to the fullness of the times, that is, the summing up of all things in Christ, things in the heavens and things on the earth. In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to His purpose who works all things after the counsel of His will, to the end that we who were the first to hope in Christ would be to the praise of His glory. In Him, you also after listening to the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation–having also believed, you were sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is given as a pledge of our inheritance, with a view to the redemption of God’s own possession, to the praise of His glory.” Ephesians 1:3-14
“Now the God of peace be with you all. Amen” Romans 15:33
Rest In Peace (RIP) is an acronym most often seen on tombstones at cemeteries. The truth is we don’t have to wait until we are physically dead to rest in peace, we can have rest for our souls in God’s peace ‘Today’! Jesus Christ said:
“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.”(Matthew 11:28)
Rest is defined, “to cause or permit one to cease from any movement or labour in order to recover and collect his strength; calm, refresh”
If we come to Jesus Christ and walk and learn from Him, we will find rest for our souls! Jesus uses the word picture example of yoking ourselves to Him. A yoke is “wooden beam used between pair of oxen to enable them to pull together on a load when working in a pair.” Jesus says;
“Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:29-30)
This rest for our souls is not laziness or stagnation or free from burdens, but rather resting in the finish work of Jesus Christ.
We join Jesus in lovingly plowing and preparing the hearts of others to receive the seed (God’s Word) and working alongside Jesus in the plentiful harvest.
If your souls are not resting in peace there are many possible reasons; here are a few:
“Therefore repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord; and that He may send Jesus, the Christ appointed for you…”Acts 3:19-20
You have not turned from your ways and to God’s ways and rested in Him (Isaiah 30:15)
You are not waiting on the Lord, asking for His path and walking in it (Jeremiah 6:16)
You have hardened your heart to the voice of God going astray in your heart and do not know God’s ways (Hebrews 3:7-11)
You are not being diligent to enter into the Sabbath rest for the people of God; For the Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath (Hebrews 4:9-11; Matthew 12:8)
You are not connected to Jesus Christ the One True Vine that brings the fruit of the Spirit (John 15:5Galatians 5:22-23)
You have a proud heart, haughty eyes, are involved with great matters, or things too difficult for you, and have misplaced your hope–you have placed your hope in yourself, other things or people and not in The Lord (Psalm 131)
I can share these Scriptures because these are the ones God has used to slice me open to show me the thoughts and intentions of my heart, to show me when and why I am not resting in the ‘Guardian of my soul’. I am praying we rest in God’s perfect peace on the finished work of the Cross; Not what we do but what’s been done! I rejoice my name is written in the book of life, love has been poured into my heart and I can’t help but mourn for those that do not yet personally know the One True God and Jesus Christ Whom He has sent.
By God’s grace I get to join my Savior in step with His Holy Spirit to be a worker in the harvest ~ that is a worker empowered by His Spirit knowing it is God who works in and through me for His pleasure for He also does not wish that any should perish but that all would come to repentance and enter into His rest.
Yoke yourself to the Lord of Sabbath and you will feel His presence inside and “By Your Side”.
“…the LORD longs to be gracious to you, and therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the LORD is a God of justice; How blessed are all those who long for Him.” Isaiah 30:18
“Take care, brethren, that there not be in any one of you an evil, unbelieving heart that falls away from the living God. But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called “today,” so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we have become partakers of Christ, if we hold fast the beginning of our assurance firm until the end.” Hebrews 3:12-14
“So Jesus said to them, ‘Peace be with you; as the Father has sent Me, I also send you’. And when He had said this He breathed on them and said to them, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit.’” John 20:21-22
This beautiful prayer wheel cross necklace was given to me by my husband seven years before I “pressed on to maturity” in my relationship with God and began to bear my cross
For over 30 years I would wear a cross around my neck but I would not ‘bear’ my own cross.
All those years the cross was just a piece of jewelry to me. I had said I believed in Jesus Christ but when my faith was tested through trials, it was evident in my actions I trusted in my own self sufficiency and not in God.
I had a shallow superficial faith because I never read the Bible for myself. Even when I did hear God’s Word from others I used His Word as band-aids to my ailments, an emergency self-help kit I took out whenever I was hurting or needed something.
Then one day I met a woman radiating the love of Jesus Christ and she didn’t even wear a cross around her neck! She bears her cross…For weeks I quietly watched her intently as she would deny herself daily and yet be so full of love, joy and thanksgiving even in the midst of hard trials.
I wanted what she had more than any jewelry could offer. I asked God how I can get my own flame and love Him as she did. He told me, and I have never been the same since–that was the day I breathed my last the day I “committed to the cost of following Jesus“, that was the day I BEGAN to bear my own cross.
The Bible teaches us intentional disciples of Jesus Christ are to bear our own crosses not just wear one:
“Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.”(Matthew 16:24)
The word ‘deny’ (aparneomai) means: “to affirm that one has no acquaintance or connection with someone; to forget one’s self, lose sight of one’s self and one’s own interests”
The word ‘take up’ in Greek (airō) means: “to take upon one’s self and carry what has been raised up, to BEAR; to BEAR away what has been raised, carry off”
If we wish to come after Jesus Christ we must ‘lose sight’ of ourselves and BEAR our cross and follow Him.
The day I committed to follow Jesus Christ I put myself on His altar and told Him I would go wherever He would send me, do whatever He would ask of me, and talk to whoever He wanted me to talk to. I began to let go of everything that is of myself and prayed He would increase and I would decrease.
My adventure of walking closely with Jesus Christ is a novel in itself but let me share the very first radical transformation in my life.
Through His Word, God told me to stay home and raise my children. You would have to know me personally to understand why this was a huge test of faith for me.
*I was raised by a single parent Marine Daddy
*I was paralyzed with fear and insecurities to be a mom since I wasn’t raised by mine
*I saw my children less than 15 hours a week and didn’t know what to do with them on the weekends
*I believed the lies that I made a better mom working outside the home especially since my high paying job would help pay for their future tuition
*I was the mom that dropped her children off first and was the last to pick them up {it hurts to admit this but He wants me to}
*I was the biggest persecutor and made fun of stay-at-home moms {and I said I would NEVER stay home}
*I had finished my Masters degree and was making a six-figure salary and absolutely ENJOYED my job
This was a test of my husband’s faith too. When I told Him about my encounter with God and that I felt God calling me to stay home full time my husband’s response was,
“It will never happen. It is impossible.”
It was impossible for us because we had a half-million dollar home, a Harley Davidson, Mini-Van, Truck and over $100K debt. We were the rich young rulers.
To get over my own insecurities, fears and desires was one thing, having the reality of the golden handcuffs of debt was quite another. I started to sink into an area of doubt and asked God why would He change my heart but not my husbands’? I then stopped asking questions and began to be still and serve God while I waited.
I would not forget the deep conviction God gave me. I knew He had asked me to stay home but I didn’t know how it was going to happen. I stood on His Word and chose to trust God.
I look back now and see God was teaching me submissiveness to Him and my husband. I did not nag my husband. I didn’t not bully to get my way {as I used to} but I submitted to God by submitting to my husband.
Instead, I would pray Deuteronmy 6:5 over my husband’s head while he was sleeping. I would pray with my spiritual mentor that my husband would love God with all his heart, mind, soul and strength. Then it happened!!!!
It just took five months from the time I encountered God for my husband to hear from God too! God told my husband through His Word:
Five months from when my husband heard from God we were moved from the VA/DC area to Alabama and I began my full time ministry of motherhood.
I am empowered by God’s Holy Spirit to be a momma to my children for God’s glory!
I am filled with humility and gratitude when I think of the day I breathed my last breath and was filled with His Spirit. I am humbled when I think about how God was drawing me for so many years even when I had been pushing Him away and denying Him. I smile when I think of my husband’s words when I told him I wanted to leave my job and stay home with the children, “it is impossible”. I smile because I remember what Jesus Christ said of the rich young ruler who wanted to enter the kingdom of heaven:
“…with people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26
By God’s grace my husband and I have gone from rags to riches…from our filthy rags to God’s glorious riches!
By God’s grace I am growing in the grace and knowledge of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! I am learning, we bear our crosses when we genuinely say Galatians 2:20
“I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.”
And do you know what else I’m learning? We CAN NOT deny ourselves in our strength, we can not believe we have been crucified with Christ in our own strength and we can NOT press on to spiritual maturity unless God permits (Hebrews 6:3), we NEED His help, apart from Him we can do nothing (John 15:5)! My hope is in Jesus Christ alone, I know I can not hope to change myself or others, He is my all in all!
Yes, for 30 years I just wore a cross.
However, I realize I just ‘wore’ a cross and never bore my cross because the truth is I can’t bear my cross without the grace of God’s Holy Spirit.
It is by God’s Holy Spirit I am equipped to deny myself daily…whether it is leaving a job I enjoy, canceling ‘alone’ time because a friend is in need or pause my writing even at the climax of completion because a child wants a drink of water–His Spirit empowers me to do what He’s asked of me. I have learned the Spirit must come before the fruit.
Let God’s Word examine your hearts, are you bearing the cross or are you just wearing one around your neck? May we press on to maturity!
“For I am confident of this very thing, that HE who began a good work in you will PERFECT it until the day of Christ Jesus” Philippians 1:6
I am sharing my ‘Hazardous Faith Story’ as part of a synchroblog connected with the release of Ed Cyzewski and Derek Cooper’s new book Hazardous: Committing to the Cost of Following Jesus. To discover more about the book and to read other Hazardous stories, click here.
“Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love.” John 15:9
The other day my son and I watched a video clip of several intentional disciples and lovers of Jesus Christ casting their self proclaimed ‘idols’ into a consuming fire. My son immediately cried out:
“I don’t want to throw my Legos into the fire!”
I asked him, “well, do you love your Legos more than God?”
He looked at me strangely and answered flatly, “Of course not!”
I told him, “Well then it doesn’t seem to be an idol. An idol is anything that you love more than God or distracts or keeps you from your fellowship with Him. It is something that becomes a false god and you worship it instead of the One True God.”
I went on to share with my son if he ever does come across an idol in his life he can go to God’s throne of grace to help him get rid of it.
The Hebrew word for idol ‘eliyl means, “of naught, good for nothing, worthless, false god.”
It is worthless because it can’t do anything, it does not bring true peace, joy or comfort that only God can fulfill.
The second commandment tells us we ‘shall not’ make idols and worship them reminding us nothing deserves our worship other than God. I must admit casting down idols does not always come easy for me, but since I have placed my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ I am empowered by Him. John 1:16-17 says:
“For of His (Jesus) fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace. For the Law was given through Moses; grace and truth were realized through Jesus Christ.”
It is true, I am no longer under the law but grace and I am not condemned in what I eat, drink or do that is not ‘harmful’ to others–I am free in Jesus Christ.
However, I search and destroy idols in my life because I view them as encumbrances in the race of faith I am running. I’m on a journey with Jesus Christ, and as I walk closely with Him, and abide in Him, I love Him more and the things of this world seem to fade away. The times I struggle to unclench the worthless, He gives me the grace to let go. He also teaches me through the convictions of the Holy Spirit what potential encumbrances are in my life threatening to distract me from my first love: Jesus Christ; and my purpose: to glorify God.
I cast down idols not for legalism but for Love.
“Turn away my eyes from looking at vanity, and revive me in Your ways.” Psalm 119:37
This is one such confession I want to keep as a stone of remembrance so I won’t forget:
Along the way I got caught up in high tech communications like the iPhone leaving me feeling disconnected from the One in whom all good fruit flow from. This confusion and lack of peace had to stop!
My husband would jokingly say there must be a button on my car seat that lifts my phone to my ear the moment I sit down. He was right. I was distracted and hardly ever present and instead of prayerfully parenting with grace I saw my children as distractions to conversations I wanted to have. Then by God’s grace, I was convicted and I remembered why I’m here, and the assignment God gave me: to teach His statues diligently to my children all the timeand the commission I have been given: to make disciples of all nations as I am going along.
In order to teach God’s statues they need to be on my heart and I need to be present. The Greek word for ‘abide’ menō is explained as, “to remain, not to depart, to continue to be present.” This is the same word Jesus used in John 15:5 when He said,
To teach my children I must be connected to the One who helps me to do ‘something’ of eternal value. Being present means to rest in Jesus Christ, wait on Him, and be content in the moment, not striving for the next moment to come, but seizing every opportunity to speak life into my children and those around me.
In terms of being a ‘present’ parent, that means being available to listen to the hearts of my children and to sow God’s Word into their hearts as He leads. As He leads…this requires to be prayerfully connected to God in order to know the Words and right moment to speak into their hearts; after all, only He knows the hearts of all men. He knows the words that will sustain my weary ones.
I have spent four years of my sons life and two years of my daughter’s life disconnected from God and from training them in His ways…I do not want to waste another moment, I want to bear much fruit, I want to be a worker in God’s harvest. So one month ago I said:
“Good-bye iPhone, it’s not you, it’s me. I have already replaced you with a ‘track phone’ I nicked named ‘wise phone’ as it helps me count the cost, measuring the minutes, and words bringing to my attention any idle word I make. I desire to be a purposeful, present, prayerful, parent and I cannot do this unless I remain connected to my power source Jesus Christ. I want to live an intentional life of a disciple of Jesus Christ. I must not forget why I am here and iPhone, you distracted me too much…A Dios!”
I lay aside this idol and weight not for legalism but for Love. I desire to be continually connected and present abiding in God’s love through Jesus Christ seeking Him with all my heart. I desire a deeper love with God, enabling me to pour out His love to those around me in the power of His Holy Spirit, all for His glory and honor.
I’m on my knees for us…
**After this stone of remembrance was written in my heart a fellow blogger shared this song “Clear the Stage” and it is one of my favorite songs this moment**
“Just as you do not know the path of the wind and how bones are formed in the womb of the pregnant woman, so you do not know the activity of God who makes all things.” (Ecclesiastes 11:5)
My son recently lost his first tooth! When it was first loose I asked him if he wanted us to pull it out and he gently replied,
“No mama, I want don’t want anyone to mess with it. I want it to come out when it’s time.”
Those last few words stayed in my heart: “when it’s time…”
I thought of how I usually don’t ‘wait’ for the appointed time whatever ‘it’ is. I’m usually eager to get ‘it’ done! It is from this habit I have another confession…
Confession:
I can become easily distracted and try to rush the salvation of others.
I never thought witnessing could turn into selfish ambition but it can—I now call it “salvation ambition.” I realize it’s harder with my family because I want them to know God and Jesus Christ so badly, I sometimes over step my boundaries by looking away from Jesus Christ to myself or to their walks with Him. I anxiously want to know my role, my part in their salvation.
I receive God’s gentle correction when I read John 21:1-23:
Peter had just told Jesus he loved Him and was given instructions to tend and shepherd the lambs and sheep of Jesus Christ and to FOLLOW JESUS but Peter still asks:
“Lord, who is the one who betrays You?….Lord, and what about this man?” (20,21)
Peter gets distracted…
What was Jesus’ response?
“…If I want him to remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow Me!”
God has been using these passages for the past 2 years to help discipline my walk with Him and stop looking at the walks of others. Jesus is the path—the Way the Truth and the Life and I need to watch Him and do not look to the left or right but keep my eyes fixed on Him, the Author and Perfecter of faith.
Examining and ‘judging’ the walks of others in my flesh has been a temptation and distraction and I repent…that is one of the reasons I am off Facebook. God has convicted me to put my face in His book and write about my faith in a book for my children {my journal} to share the stones of remembrances He has given our family.
God has reminded me my role in evangelism and making disciples is to share the Gospel, tend His sheep and lambs, and follow Him.
As I follow Jesus Christ, will there be distractions? Yes! They come in many forms; one for me is selfish ambition. For example I want my children to be saved. I ask Jesus, ‘will they be the ones to betray You?” Jesus responds, “If I want {them} to remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow Me!”
I humbly say to my Savior since nothing is hidden from Him:
“But I’m their mama and I love them, and their salvation matters to me because I want them to love and know You, I want them to live with you forever.” There was the selfish “salvation ambition”:
I. Want.
Jesus Christ reminds me the cost of being His disciple:
“…If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.” Matthew 16:24
Did you catch that? BEFORE I can FOLLOW Jesus Christ I must deny myself…take up my cross (crucify myself) THEN Follow Him. That means deny my ‘selfish ambitions.’
I ask God, “what about when you say to make disciples of all nations?”
He reminds me the making of disciples is not done in my strength but true disciple making is done in His power, the power of His Holy Spirit. He can use me when I am obedient and empty myself and am filled with His Spirit. When I am His vessel filled with His Spirit my utterances are His; I don’t move until He tells me to move.
I have a new perspective…
· My vision is Jesus Christ
· My goal is obedience to God
· The strategy: The Holy Spirit
The goal is not forcing salvation on others like my children, the goal is obeying Jesus Christ by humbling myself everyday and following Him.
I must follow Jesus Christ, listen to Him, trust and obey Him so that I can tend the lambs (my children) He has given me and I can intercede and pray for them and ask God to give me opportunities to share the Gospel in deed and truth with them, knowing only He enlightens people, and shines into their hearts giving them understanding of His Word. Only He draws others to Himself. God does use human vessels (believers) but it is done in His strength so that the “surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves”.
So what is my assignment?
Love God with all my heart mind soul and strength and teach my children (Deuteronomy 6:4-9)
The truth is, God wants them to come to Him too {Matthew 18:14; 2 Peter 3:9;}. I need to trust in God, hope in Him, wait on His timing and be patient and pray. When the opportunity to be the hands and feet and mouth of Jesus Christ comes I am compelled to sow and water the seeds as He leads praying He will cause a growth.
Jesus I am resting, resting…
“So then neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but God who causes the growth. Now he who plants and he who waters are one; but each will receive his own reward according to his own labor. For we are God’s fellow workers; you are God’s field, God’s building.” 1 Corinthians 3:7-9
“Surely I have composed and quieted my soul; like a weaned child rests against his mother, my soul is like a weaned child within me” (Psalm 131:2)
Have you ever held a nursing child that is hungry? Their mouths open and close like baby birds moving their heads, striving to find the mother’s milk, never stopping or resting until they find it. Have you ever seen a weaned child sleep on her mother’s chest? The child is still, peaceful—just resting, remaining, abiding. What a beautiful picture of what our walk with Jesus Christ can be if we just rest and abide in Him as He tells us in John 15:5. I know this truth, and I want this, but sometimes I am like a nursing child reaching, striving and not resting. Again, struggling because I want to do BIG things for God, I want to ‘go up.’ Then I get a revelation…again.
I am doing BIG things for Him. He has given me the role of a Mother. He has given me instructions and tasks He has for me according to His perfect will. I have the privilege as a Mother to fill my children with His love, making them wholehearted children with undivided hearts completely devoted to Him. I have a calling. I have a mission…and I feel the deep sense of purpose as a Mother as never before. I want to be present, available, flexible, teachable, moldable for God so He can love my children and others through me.
In Judges 13:1-25 God confirms this new conviction He has given me. This is a true story about the parents of Samson, the one who began to deliver Israel from the hands of the Philistines.
Samson’s Mother was visited by the angel of the LORD and was told she would give birth to a son (even though she was barren).
He gave her instructions: “…be careful not to drink wine or strong drink, nor eat any unclean thing…and no razor shall come upon his head, for the boy shall be a Nazirite to God from the womb” (v.4-5)
He gave her a glimpse of the child’s role in God’s purpose/plan: “for the boy shall be a Naziritie to God from the womb; and he shall begin to deliver Israel from the hands of the Philistines” (v.5)
Her next step…She ‘told her husband’: “Then the woman came and told her husband…” (v.6-7)
Then the husband Manoah prayed: “…O Lord, please let the man of God whom You have sent come to us again that he may teach us what to do for the boy who is to be born.” (v.8)
God hears Manoah and the angel of God came again to the woman! (v.9)
She runs quickly to get her husband because he was not with her when the angel came a second time (v.9-10)
Manoah asks a direct question to the angel: “Now when your words come to pass, what shall be the boy’s mode of life and vocation?”(v.12)
The angel’s response: “Let the woman pay attention to all that I said” (v.13)
My heart ponders the angel’s response to the question “…what shall be the boy’s mode of life and his vocation” the response being:
“Let the woman pay attention to all that I said.”
Wow! Pay attention! Only a woman can carry a child in her womb by God’s grace and be called a Mother. Only a Mother can eat or drink the right things that will impact the growth of the baby in her womb. This is by God’s design and purpose. Pregnancy is a beautiful picture of God working in and through us for His good purpose but it does not end there. In fact, there are plenty of Mothers that have not carried their child in the womb but they must also ‘pay attention’ to all that God has said, making sure she is eating and drinking the right things that will impact the spiritual growth of her child.
All of us Mothers need to be eating ‘every word that comes from the mouth of God’ and making sure our hearts are clean and we are ‘filled with the Spirit not drunk on wine.’ How else could we ‘pay attention?’ Out of the heart the mouth speaks—we have an opportunity everyday to see what is in the hearts of our children if we listen to them…and to the voice of the Holy Spirit.
I want to LISTEN to the desires in the hearts of my children and watch what they are interested in and how God has uniquely designed them. I want to cultivate the garden of their souls, planting His seed in their hearts, pulling the weeds, and planting in every area so something else not of Him does not spring up. By His grace I can do this. By His grace alone, I am learning to be content with the portion He gave me. By His grace I will keep my eyes fixed on Him, the Author and Perfecter of faith.
What an honor to pray my children into His kingdom. To love them into His Kingdom. To help them learn to hear His voice and help them be lights in this world wherever He sends them. What a purpose I have in God’s plan! This realization and revelation causes my soul to rest. I do not desire to be anywhere but where He has me and I consider that His grace. I am thankful I can re-read this post and reflect on this stone of remembrance for those days I ‘forget’ my calling as a Mother.
What about you? Are you resting? Do you see your purpose as a parent in God’s plan to love your children into the kingdom? To listen and pay attention to all He tells you? If you are not a parent yet, are you preparing your heart now by drawing near to the One who will help you raise them?
I’m praying for you dear reader…
“…that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe. These are in accordance with the working of the strength of His might which He brought about in Christ, when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. And He put all things in subjection under His feet, and gave Him as head over all things to the church, which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all. (Ephesians 1:18-23)
Altar of Heaven 