2007 started to look like a prosperous and promising year. I licked my wounds of the sudden loss of my Air Force Career and pulled myself up from the bootstraps and tried to move on in my own strength.
One day my husband and I drove into a beautiful neighborhood. The houses were huge and expensive and the people looked happy. I decided that moment, buying a house in that neighborhood would make me happy. My husband was eager to please me and he agreed to buy it and we signed our lives into massive debt.
To us, we didn’t care because we were making a combined income of $243K year as young thirty year olds, with promises of more money. We bought anything we wanted, went on vacations to Hawaii, dinner in Florida. We were building facades pretending everything was OK when inside we were miserable. We were chasing mirages thinking we would find meaning in wealth and stuff. We were building our own kingdom.
We welcomed our third child Annaleigh in the summer and life looked great. That was until my husband began to share with me this feeling of emptiness, and discontentment with an overwhelmed heart. I kind of understood what he felt because I too felt empty. We had everything we wanted and yet something was missing. This discontentment and depression put a strain on our relationship.
Again, I went to God. I was angry with God. Why do we have this ‘problem’ when we were listening to Christian music and going to Church!! Why can’t we feel fulfilled?
Instead of waiting on God we went to Barnes and Noble to search the ‘Mental Health’ and ‘Self Help’ aisle to find the answers we were searching for. I was determined we ‘would get through this…’ After all, I majored in Psychology. We also sought help from the ‘professionals’ and went to a few sessions before we became desperate to go to a friend’s Pastor who listened to us, prayed for us and shared God’s Word with us. At the time I was frustrated and thought it was a waste of our time.
I didn’t understand the POWER of God’s Word.
**This week I will be sharing ‘bite size’ portions of my testimony in honor of my 7 year spiritual birthday which is this week!!!!!!***