A silent suffering takes place each day in this world because it is full of depravity, depression, and darkness. It’s worse when you are surrounded by vanity fair, and everyone looks like they are fine…except you. You are not fine. You are hurting in place no one can see: the heart, soul, and mind.
You go through each day feeling lonely, lost and unseen. There is One that sees you and is near your crushed spirit. There is One that wants to save you and keep saving you. His name is Jesus Christ.
Maybe you do know Him but still experience this sadness because the enemy whispers lies causing you to doubt the goodness of God. You experience this sadness because this world is not your home.
The uninterrupted joy that our hearts yearn for is only found in Jesus Christ. He can take the pieces of our shattered soul and spirit and make something beautiful. It’s hard to believe but it’s true.
I won’t drag or push you. I will just wait here with you and love you through these moments.
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18
“You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.” Psalm 16:11
“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, God, You will not despise.” Psalm 51:17
2007 started to look like a prosperous and promising year. I licked my wounds of the sudden loss of my Air Force Career and pulled myself up from the bootstraps and tried to move on in my own strength.
One day my husband and I drove into a beautiful neighborhood. The houses were huge and expensive and the people looked happy. I decided that moment, buying a house in that neighborhood would make me happy. My husband was eager to please me and he agreed to buy it and we signed our lives into massive debt.
To us, we didn’t care because we were making a combined income of $243K year as young thirty year olds, with promises of more money. We bought anything we wanted, went on vacations to Hawaii, dinner in Florida. We were building facades pretending everything was OK when inside we were miserable. We were chasing mirages thinking we would find meaning in wealth and stuff. We were building our own kingdom.
We welcomed our third child Annaleigh in the summer and life looked great. That was until my husband began to share with me this feeling of emptiness, and discontentment with an overwhelmed heart. I kind of understood what he felt because I too felt empty. We had everything we wanted and yet something was missing. This discontentment and depression put a strain on our relationship.
Again, I went to God. I was angry with God. Why do we have this ‘problem’ when we were listening to Christian music and going to Church!! Why can’t we feel fulfilled?
Instead of waiting on God we went to Barnes and Noble to search the ‘Mental Health’ and ‘Self Help’ aisle to find the answers we were searching for. I was determined we ‘would get through this…’ After all, I majored in Psychology. We also sought help from the ‘professionals’ and went to a few sessions before we became desperate to go to a friend’s Pastor who listened to us, prayed for us and shared God’s Word with us. At the time I was frustrated and thought it was a waste of our time.
It’s hard to believe I need a sacrifice for my sins.
It’s hard to believe God would come down in the flesh and save me.
It’s hard to believe I’ve been forgiven of my past sins.
It’s hard to believe I have the power to overcome future sins.
Its hard to believe I can speak to God Almighty.
It’s hard to believe God can hear me.
It’s hard to believe I can hear Him.
It’s hard to believe God lives in me.
It’s hard to believe God loves me.
It IS hard to believe.
That’s why it takes a working of GOD to save us:
To save us from this of doubt Him.
To save us from this division from Him.
To save us from this depression within.
To save us from this darkness around.
To save us from our sins.
Oh what GRACE is HARD to comprehend!
Remind me again how Your grace and mercies are new each morning.
Remind me how the blood of Jesus still cleanses;
Remind me of Your faithfulness and righteousness to forgive;
Remind me of Your presence within.
When I was first born again six years ago I was overly zealous for Jesus Christ. Though I shared Christ with those around me, I was trying to make others believe. I had salvation ambition and I came across as a ‘Bible thumper.’ I wanted so badly for others to be rescued out of the darkness and depression I once knew.
But what I didn’t fully realize then that I do now is this…I can’t make anyone believe, not even myself. Saving faith is a work of God.
So today I sow the Word implanted in me…I sow with my mouth, I sow with my writing, I sow with my living and I sow with my tears.
I pray and wait as God causes a growth.
May this God Friday be the day of someone’s salvation.