In 2008 a brave soul walked our neighborhood and put an invitation to a ladies Bible Study on our mailbox. I was indifferent because I thought the invite was for stay at home moms in the afternoons. The insecurity I had as a mother coupled with the deep conviction for leaving my children for so many hours of the day made me jealous and look down on stay at home moms. Though I never said it outwardly I didn’t look highly on the calling of a mother.
When my husband told me the invitation included the evening, I decided to go. That night we were supposed to introduce ourselves. When it was my turn I unexpectedly wept in front of these strangers, sharing all my insecurities and burdens.
I did the ugly cry.
They did not judge, they did not say they understood. They just came alongside me and prayed for me. No one had ever prayed for me like that before. I wept more. I didn’t know what was going on with me. These stay at home moms loved me the coming weeks as we studied Philippians together.
During this time my husband were competing against each other on who could read the most books in one year. When I found out the Bible had 66 books I decided I would read the Bible. My husband did not want to lose, so he started to read the Bible too.
The ladies kept inviting us to Church. When they had their Harvest festival we went dressed as the Flintstones. Everyone was so loving, we decided to attend their services. Within a couple of weeks we joined a small group and started studying the book of Hebrews. Our small group was full of stay at home moms that homeschooled. I was curious and intimidated by them.
At the time we were studying about the sacrificial system of the Israelites. How every year at the day of atonement the High Priest would sacrifice an unblemished lamb to atone for the sins of the people. The High Priest was the only one that could go into the place of the Holy of Holies. I was 32 years old and I still didn’t know about any of this—at least I never remember learning about it. They told us how Jesus Christ was our High Priest and how He was the final sacrifice to atone for the sins of the world. I didn’t understand.
Also during that season we were under great stress because we needed to find another daycare for our children. Our son was in seven different daycares under the age of 4!!! Part of this was his erratic behavior to bite and fight others because we never disciplined him. The other part was because I fought with the Directors because no one could do a ‘perfect’ job. I was at a loss of what to do. I asked our small group to pray for us and one of the ladies told me about a woman in the Church that was looking to Nanny for a family. I was uncomfortable about the thought of someone being alone in our home with our precious children but I ended up calling her for an interview….
**This week I will be sharing ‘bite size’ portions of my testimony in honor of my 7 year spiritual birthday which is this week!!**