Tag Archives: love

May 1, 2013

Sanctifying Second Chances

By altarofheaven
Pursue peace with all men

“Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.”       1 Peter 4:8

I was giddy to have time alone with God, and was on my way out the door when my seven year old son asks if he could join me. I politely tell him, “Not this time.”

He pleads with me and I shamefully redirect his attention from investing time in our relationship to his inanimate toys.

I leave him. And I began to swat away convicting thoughts replacing them with a justifying one:

“I’m home all day with the kids and they see me all the time. I deserve this time…”

I was five minutes out, and I could no longer ignore or numb the conviction of the Holy Spirit speaking to my heart gently showing me I did not choose what was best.  I repented of my selfishness and turned the car around to swoop up the son of my vow.

I felt as though I couldn’t get to my son fast enough and I was full of gratitude, thankful it wasn’t too late to undo my poor decision.

I ran to his room and see him tacking a note to the door.  I got on my knees to look into his hurt eyes and speak to his rejected heart:

“I came back for you! God showed me I wasn’t choosing what was best…”

As I say these words I read the note he tacked to the door, which confirmed the urgency of my conviction and his bruised heart:

“I hate Mommy!”

My heart sinks and aches of this revelation and I see his embarrassed look of regret as he tries to tear off the note and I ‘cover‘ the note with one hand and gently place my other hand on his, and say:

“Oh this. Yes. I understand my son, Mommy is not perfect, and I did not choose wisely, do you forgive me?”

He nods, and hugs me tightly.

I shove the note into my pocket as a stone of remembrance to remind me not to miss out on future opportunities to sow God’s unfailing love. Holding hands we race to the car as giddy children of God, excited for the opportunity for our reconciled hearts to communicate over coffee, milk and cookies. 

***
I tell my children about God every day. I tell them about His great love and how Jesus Christ laid down His life for the world, so that we can be reconciled to have an intimate relationship with God the Father.  I tell them about the conviction of the Holy Spirit, how He will guide us into all Truth helping us to trust and obey God’s Word. I tell them how Jesus Christ is alive in me.

Yes I SPEAK of God’s love often and God gives me ample opportunities to SHOW my children this type of love…of laying down of my own selfish desires to listen to their hearts.  If you could see more than a snapshot of my life you would see I have missed many opportunities.

For our flesh, to love is easier said than shown–but not for God, God IS love! The same Holy Spirit dwelling in Jesus Christ dwells in me so the Truth is I have what it takes to love the way God has called me to love.

I’m thankful for God’s grace and forgiveness and for His Holy Spirit guiding me into all Truth, and I’m thankful we ‘get to’ show the Lord Jesus Christ to others:

“Pursue peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord.” Hebrews 12:14

Mother's Prayer Card April 2013 - Page 001

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March 26, 2013

Church @ A Chipotle Restaurant {God’s Giving, God’s Glory}

By altarofheaven

“…Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love Me?’ He said, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed My sheep.” John 21:17 

*I am sharing this confession not to boast about my sin. Sin is not a laughing matter, it actually makes me mourn. I share this to boast about my God, to testify He is alive and His Spirit still convicts the world of sin, righteousness and judgment and He uses yielded vessels to show His love. This true story is an example of how I willfully made choices not to grieve Him with my disobedience–even though it wasn’t first time obedience.

I like Chipotle Restaurants and I love God.

To love God is easier said than shown.  God says, ‘If you love me you will keep my commandments’ (John 14:15). God’s two greatest commandments involve the word LOVE so I’d say love is very important to God.  I’m learning love is an action, not a feeling–you can’t love without giving and this particular sunny California day God was about to teach me again about His love….

Before I left the garage of my Grandma’s house to pick up our lunch I prayed God would give me an opportunity to share life giving words to a hungry soul.  Twenty minutes later I was paying for my favorite meal and excited to return to my Grandma to share the goodness of this perishable food when God answered my forgotten prayer.  As I looked towards the exit door I saw a homeless man outside.  I quickly looked for another exit so I wouldn’t have to pass by him and be bothered when all of a sudden the Holy Spirit convicts me of my lack of love. God ordered my steps…He told me to go out the door near the homeless man: it was my choice to obey or not.  I obeyed. As I walked out he asked for change and tells me he is very hungry. Not wanting my food to get cold, and remembering I have no cash, I selfishly tell him I have nothing to give him and I walk away. I was wrong.

The Holy Spirit gently reminded me of the change in my wallet and the change of my heart. I turn back and excitedly say,

“Wait, I do have change to give you!”

He thanked me, and as I dug through my wallet I asked him his name. Joey. I asked Joey if he knows the Lord Jesus Christ. Of course he knows about Jesus Christ, he lives in America where the Gospel is plentiful, but after a few words about God I could tell he did not know God. Joey was hungry for more than perishable food. Joey was telling me about lent and said a few incorrect things. I shared with Joey about what God had been teaching me about a different type of fasting.  A fasting that happens as a result of being mournful and sorrowful for my sin and disobedience towards God when I become too distraught about my sin I can’t eat. I asked him if he knew about that kind of fasting? He shook his head. I asked him if he knew the love of God and shared the Word:

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life” (John 3:16)

I went on to share what Jesus Christ says eternal life is:

“This is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent” (John 17:3)

Joey looks intently at me and says, “I met people like you the other day.”

I smile and respond, “Joey that is God sending you messengers desiring for you to be reconciled to God, to come back to Him. I know this to be true because I prayed to meet someone that needed to hear God’s words and God sent me you.”

With my eyes filled with tears I looked into Joey’s eyes and said, “Joey God loves you with an everlasting love and He forgives you and wants you to follow Him.” Joey’s lips quiver and his eyes begin to well up with tears threatening to burst.  I asked him if he believed that? He didn’t say anything. I told him I would pray he will believe and that God would send more messengers to him and I turn to walk away again and look around me. I begin to get angry at all ‘these people’ who have and don’t give…then God convicted me of the log in my eye and I mourned for my sin because I am ‘these people’ again God speaks to my heart:

“If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to them, ‘go in peace, be warmed and be filled,’ and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that? Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead, being by itself.” James 2:15-17

“But whoever has the world’s goods, and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him? Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and in truth” 1 John 3:17

Full of unspeakable joy I tell Joey, “God just told me to buy you lunch, come inside with me!” He is in shock.

What Joey didn’t know was this required me to die to self and walk in faith.  I didn’t have the money to buy this meal but I knew God told me. I shared James 2:15-17 with Joey and we walk up to the counter and I see the look of shock in the faces of the employees, some with disgust. I asked him to order whatever he wanted and he says, “Uh, just chips and salsa please.” I reply, “Is that all you want? You said you were hungry.” I realized he had never stepped foot in this restaurant before and the looks of the employees were distracting him so I ordered him exactly what I ordered myself following God’s command to love your neighbor as yourself. As I was placing Joey’s order I couldn’t help the tears that were streaming down my face–it was a mixture of mourning and joy.

The mourning was for my delayed obedience and for Joey’s spiritual famine…he doesn’t know Jesus Christ, the love of the Father, and the comfort of the Holy Spirit. The joy was for God’s compassion and forgiveness and that God chose me to show Joey His love.

When I get to the cash register the young lady takes my card to charge and another employee comes from behind and cancels our order and says, ‘It’s all taken care of.” I burst with the first thing in my heart, “Praise God! Thank you!” Just when I think I am finished God tells me to sit with Joey and give thanks and pray with him. Again, I die to self because I didn’t know where his hands had been and God was specific: to pray holding his hands. I obeyed. We sit amongst a crowded area and I pray as the Holy Spirit gave utterance. After we prayed I knew I was done because I was overcome with the peace, love and joy that filled my heart. I told Joey I would continue to pray for him as the LORD reminded me and I left a different person. The restaurant was silent as I felt all eyes watch me leave and I knew God was glorified in that place.

Jesus says:

“Beware of practicing your righteousness before men to be noticed by them; otherwise you have no reward with your Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 6:1)

I share this encounter with you to praise God with me and to testify of His LOVE. As I have confessed, my flesh wanted to walk the other way three times. My flesh wanted to:

  • Deny Joey money
  • Deny Joey God’s eternal food
  • Deny Joey perishable food
  • Deny Joey intercession
  • Deny Joey love

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever” (Psalm 73:26).

God’s Spirit directed my steps and it is His righteousness that deserves all the praise, honor and glory! God is glorified because it was His giving:

  • God gave His Son Jesus Christ to reconcile me to Himself allowing me to have a heart to love, ears to hear Him, eyes to see
  • God gave me His Holy Spirit, the comforter that teaches me and guides me in Truth and brings to remembrance God’s Word
  • God gave me the courage to obey
  • God even took care of the cost of Joey’s lunch!

I am a vessel. I desire to be a yielded vessel of God’s mercy, grace and LOVE. My faith was strengthened that day and I was no longer hungry because I had been filled.

“Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has seen God at any time; if we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us.” 1 John 4:11-12

“Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.” 2 Corinthians 5:20

 “Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven”. Matthew 5:16

**I realize there are people that will want to take advantage, and who knows, maybe that was Joey’s intention but God’s Word tells us only He knows the thoughts and intentions of a man’s heart. My calling is to remain connected to the True Vine and follow and obey the prompting of the Holy Spirit. I am not telling you to give anything, I am not the Holy Spirit, there is only One God and He is looking for yielded vessels to inhabit to pour out His love, I pray you are one of them**

 

15 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | posted in Conviction-Confession-Cleansing, Stones of Remembrance

December 14, 2012

A Friend Loves At All Times

By altarofheaven
“If I then, the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15“For I gave you an example that you also should do as I did to you. 16“Truly, truly, I say to you, a slave is not greater than his master, nor is one who is sent greater than the one who sent him. 17“If you know these things, you are blessed if you do them. John 13:14-17

“If I then, the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I gave you an example that you also should do as I did to you.”  John 13:14-15

It was one of those days…dirty dishes and clothes piled high, filthy toilets and sinks, with a heart heavily burdened by the hurts in the world. I felt crushed and overwhelmed. The phone rings revealing my God given friend asking to stop by for a visit. I say yes!

My pride tempts me to rush around to tidy up the house and heart, and to forge a smile on my face…but I surrender to humility.  When she walks in, the Light is bright and the fire within her is intense for the love of Christ, and she shares Him with me, unknowing what was going on in my heart.  She’s never seen my hands ‘down’ before.

A simple request for a sandwich from my children brings a flow of anxiety and she ‘sees.’ She sees my brokenness and overwhelmed heart—the Holy Spirit in her takes over.  She makes my children lunch, washes my dishes, cleans my daughter’s room and even braids my daughter’s hair.  I share with her convictions in my heart and she listens.  She doesn’t try to ease those convictions or make me feel better but allows the Holy Spirit do His work in my heart.

She doesn’t try to say I’m a good person but washes my feet with God’s Word reminding me of Jesus Christ, what He has done, how we are dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord.  She lifts my weary arms to worship reminding me of the living hope we have in Christ and the joy that is ours. She takes me to the throne of grace and helps me to touch the robe I wear.  We pray, confessing and asking for godly sorrow and repentance knowing God’s grace is there for the taking. After we pray my Light is shining bright, and I am stirred to love and good deeds. I remember whose I am.

I see.  I ‘see’ brokenness is good.  Brokenness reveals and exposes my weaknesses and brokenness allowed me to see just how much love has been poured out in my friends’ heart. I’m thankful for this gift of friendship and for the love my friend has for Jesus Christ…and for me. Thank you my ‘pink friend who loves red letters‘ you are blessed indeed!

 “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Proverbs 17:17

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November 25, 2012

This Robe I Wear

By altarofheaven

“I will rejoice greatly in the LORD, My soul will exult in my God; For He has clothed me with garments of salvation, He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness, As a bridegroom decks himself with a garland, And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.” Isaiah 61:10

I’ve been given a royal gift, a covering of love reminding me I belong to a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession.

The price for this gift was free to me but costly to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Jesus came down, God in the flesh, humbled Himself and lived a perfect life in communion with God the Father. He saw my filthy garments full of holes I tried to patch; stained with sin I could not wash.

I could not stand in the presence of a Holy God in these garments and live.  These filthy garments created a separation as I tried to hide from my Creator because of my shame.

An enemy, the accuser kept me entangled in lies and shame telling me things I dare not repeat.

But then love came down in obedience to the will of God and Jesus Christ stripped Himself of His Holy righteous robe and offered to exchange it with my holey stained garment covering all my sin.

He told me the punishment of sin and death is no more, and the wrath of God has been satisfied.  He reaches for my heart and tells me I have been adopted into His family and I may now call my Creator Abba.

I look up crying, full of gratitude and Living Hope.

He tells me there is now no condemnation or shame because I am now hiding in His righteous robe and my sin is no more.

He tells me I am a new creation and I have been given a new life, with a clean heart and a new spirit, a Holy One.  He is my helper, a pledge of promise of His return.

He tells me my faith has healed me.

He tells me to go, and sin no more; to walk by faith not by sight remembering I wear His righteous robe and when temptation and trials come to touch His robe I wear and my faith will remind me I have been healed.

This robe I wear is better than the multicolored coat Jacob gave his son Joseph, or the one Samuel’s mother made him each year.

This robe I wear is royalty; it was worn by the High Priest my Savior Jesus Christ who sits at the right hand of my Abba praying for me right now.

This robe I wear will never come off and I wear it with gratitude serving Him in His field, remaining awake waiting for the trumpet sound when I will see the King of glory and be with Him forevermore.

I am thankful I am dressed for the occasion and mourn and pray in the Spirit for those that are not.

.

 

*I wrote ‘This Robe I Wear’ November 2012 

“I will rejoice greatly in the LORD,
         My soul will exult in my God;
         For He has clothed me with garments of salvation,
         He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness,
         As a bridegroom decks himself with a garland,
         And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.

For as the earth brings forth its sprouts,
         And as a garden causes the things sown in it to spring up,
         So the Lord GOD will cause righteousness and praise
         To spring up before all the nations.”

Isaiah 61:10-11

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November 2, 2012

Deep Rooted Love

By altarofheaven


“And after the sun had risen, it was scorched; and because it had no root, it withered away.” Mark 4:6

Tears of sadness filled my daughter’s eyes when I told her we had to throw away the flowers on the table. I was sad with her, and saw this as a divine opportunity to tell her what happens to flowers when they are uprooted, taken away from the one thing that gives them life and nutrients.

That’s how I feel…when I’m not hiding and abiding in the Rock, when I feel like I’ve gone ‘too far’ or it’s ‘too loud’ to hear His voice.  Those times I feel like a withered flower.

I don’t go by feelings anymore.

The Truth is I am already a branch on His Vine and nothing can separate me from the love of God that is IN Christ Jesus {period}.

I am not withered because I am rooted in the One that brings life through His Word, and Living Water.  I’m finding the more time I abide in Jesus Christ, God reveals just how deep His love is for me…how deep He has put my roots which strengthens the confidence of my faith IN the finish work of Jesus Christ {not my stinky flesh}.

As I continue to draw only from the Root I bring forth the fragrance of Christ…by His grace alone.

**The Scripture I kept hearing while writing is what I will pray for us:

“…I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.” Ephesians 3:14-19

Every week Lisa Jo @Lisa Jo posts a writing prompt. You get 5 minutes to write. No extreme editing, or perfect grammar. Just write. This is my second time participating!

Five Minute Friday

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October 18, 2012

R.I.P ‘Today’!

By altarofheaven

“Now the God of peace be with you all. Amen” Romans 15:33

Rest In Peace (RIP) is an acronym most often seen on tombstones at cemeteries.  The truth is we don’t have to wait until we are physically dead to rest in peace, we can have rest for our souls in God’s peace ‘Today’! Jesus Christ said:

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.”(Matthew 11:28)

Rest is defined, “to cause or permit one to cease from any movement or labour in order to recover and collect his strength; calm, refresh”

If we come to Jesus Christ and walk and learn from Him, we will find rest for our souls! Jesus uses the word picture example of yoking ourselves to Him.  A yoke is “wooden beam used between pair of oxen to enable them to pull together on a load when working in a pair.” Jesus says;

“Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:29-30)

This rest for our souls is not laziness or stagnation or free from burdens, but rather resting in the finish work of Jesus Christ.

We join Jesus in lovingly plowing and preparing the hearts of others to receive the seed (God’s Word) and working alongside Jesus in the plentiful harvest.

If your souls are not resting in peace there are many possible reasons; here are a few:

“Therefore repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord; and that He may send Jesus, the Christ appointed for you…”Acts 3:19-20

  • You have not turned from your ways and to God’s ways and rested in Him (Isaiah 30:15)
  • You are not waiting on the Lord, asking for His path and walking in it (Jeremiah 6:16)
  • You have hardened your heart to the voice of God going astray in your heart and do not know God’s ways (Hebrews 3:7-11)
  • You are being disobedient and unbelieving (Hebrews 3:18-19)
  • You are not being diligent to enter into the Sabbath rest for the people of God; For the Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath (Hebrews 4:9-11; Matthew 12:8)
  • You are not connected to Jesus Christ the One True Vine that brings the fruit of the Spirit (John 15:5 Galatians 5:22-23)
  • You have a proud heart, haughty eyes, are involved with great matters, or things too difficult for you, and have misplaced your hope–you have placed your hope in yourself, other things or people and not in The Lord (Psalm 131)

I can share these Scriptures because these are the ones God has used to slice me open to show me the thoughts and intentions of my heart, to show me when and why I am not resting in the ‘Guardian of my soul’. I am praying we rest in God’s perfect peace on the finished work of the Cross; Not what we do but what’s been done! I rejoice my name is written in the book of life, love has been poured into my heart and I can’t help but mourn for those that do not yet personally know the One True God and Jesus Christ Whom He has sent.

By God’s grace I get to join my Savior in step with His Holy Spirit to be a worker in the harvest ~ that is a worker empowered by His Spirit knowing it is God who works in and through me for His pleasure for He also does not wish that any should perish but that all would come to repentance and enter into His rest.

Yoke yourself to the Lord of Sabbath and you will feel His presence inside and “By Your Side”.

“…the LORD longs to be gracious to you, and therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you.  For the LORD is a God of justice; How blessed are all those who long for Him.” Isaiah 30:18

“Take care, brethren, that there not be in any one of you an evil, unbelieving heart that falls away from the living God.  But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called “today,” so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we have become partakers of Christ, if we hold fast the beginning of our assurance firm until the end.” Hebrews 3:12-14

“So Jesus said to them, ‘Peace be with you; as the Father has sent Me, I also send you’. And when He had said this He breathed on them and said to them, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit.’” John 20:21-22

3 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | posted in Meditations of His Word

October 10, 2012

Prideless Parenting

By altarofheaven

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8

We were having an enjoyable time at the beach when my daughter became frustrated because the waves kept washing away her artwork on “God’s chalkboard” {the sand}.  She was tired, hungry and her patience was slim, therefore she did the only thing she could do to express her irritation: she cried. And cried, and cried.  I discovered the quickest way to clear a beach is having a child cry for ten minutes straight. Now was the test…

What was I going to do?

My flesh wanted to satisfy the captive audience around me, and discipline her in public, my flesh wanted to scream. Actually, my flesh did scream {inside}.  Then I held her close to me and I prayed.  I prayed for God’s Holy Spirit to help us both in this witnessing opportunity.  I prayed we would both look only at Jesus Christ and not at each other or our sins.  I prayed we would be still and remain in Jesus Christ remembering God is already pleased with us because of what Jesus Christ has done, not anything we have or haven’t done.  I prayed we would take full advantage of this opportunity to give thanks to God even in this sanctifying moment.  I rocked her in my arms and felt as though everything and everyone else melted away.  I sang softly to her, and I remember I can act the same way inside when something I’ve worked hard on is destroyed or taken.

“Know that the LORD Himself is God; It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves; We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.” Psalm 100:3

I am on a journey of letting go. God is teaching me to let go of pride and perfection.  God is teaching me to deal gently with others, and to be compassionate as our High Priest Jesus Christ is able to sympathize with our weaknesses.  When these sanctifying moments occur I am learning to silently pray and look to God to comfort my children while restraining any temptation to use worldly things to threaten or console them.  I am learning to wait, be still…I’m learning to hide and abide in my Rock Jesus Christ. At one point my daughter disrespected me during her sorrow and I told her:

“you are not allowed to disrespect me, God says children must obey their parents for this is well-pleasing to Him.  I understand being upset for lost work but now you are crossing over to disobedience and that’s not the path you want to be on.”

She nodded her head. She understood.  Another five minutes of praying and allowing God to comfort her through me and the Hulk {in both of us} was gone.  I now had a calm lamb in my arms remembering the words of Jesus, ‘feed my sheep‘ and ‘tend to my lambs‘, reminding me we are all His sheep in His pasture and He is the one that restores our souls. When my children bicker, cry, fight instead of hearing a whining noise I am choosing to hear little lambs ‘baaaing’ because they are turned over and need help to be restored.  Before God can work in and through me I need to be abiding and hiding in Him so His Spirit can work in and through me for His purpose.

I am letting go of ‘striving’ to be a perfect parent and resting in His grace which is sufficient in all things, even a fit at the beach.  To God be the glory…again, His giving, His glory!

11 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | posted in Biblical lessons through children, Stones of Remembrance

September 14, 2012

A Stone Of Remembrance Never Collected…Until Now

By altarofheaven

“Then you will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free.” John 8:32

 

This is a letter {stone of remembrance} to my 16-year old self:

Hey you, beautiful young lady—yes I called you beautiful.  I see you. I see you hiding in the family pantry contemplating death.  I see the wounds you cover up with anger, jealousy, hatred fueled by insecurities and perfectionism.  I see your sadness and perpetual feeling of loss from a broken home, not having your mama to raise you. I see your tear stained pillow. I weep with you right now.

My heart groans for your sadness and hurt and how you numb yourself and put on masks trying to be all you can be for everyone. There are so many truths I want to share with you but I only have time for a few:

  • Stop comparing yourself to others. You know that one girl that you have compared yourself since sixth grade? You know who I’m talking about—you say, ‘she’s everything I am not.’ Stop comparing…you will find out later at graduation day she signs your yearbook saying how much she admires you! Run your own race sweetheart—one day you will learn to keep your eyes fixed on Someone else.
  • Stop letting your insecurities keep you from loving others. See yourself and others as God sees you; God has gifted each of us differently, celebrate the differences don’t envy others or wish yourself away—someday you will be free to enjoy the Butterflies!
  • Stop trying to please others and force friendships. Don’t you feel like you’re trying too hard? It only makes you feel rejected and lost when they don’t respond to your friendly smile or notes.  God wants you to have friendships too—one day you will learn ‘The Gift and Purpose of Friendship’!
  • Stop being distracted by the things of this world. Yes, it’s difficult to be a United States Marine Corps  ‘base kid’ in a school full of students with wealthy two parent homes. That is one of the reasons you end up throwing yourself into making money…and you do make over $100K before you turn 34 but one day you fall in love and follow Someone very special exchanging worldly rags for glorious riches!
  • Keep Writing! You have written journals and stories since you were eight years old—don’t stop I enjoy reading them and seeing how God has transformed and made a redeemed life beautiful—I call them stones of remembrances.
  • Don’t live in fear. I know the near fatal accident of your Daddy when you were five left you living in fear of losing someone you love.  I know how you keep a distance from people because you know they will someday leave but sweetie, just let go and love without fear because God will give you the grace to go through any loss.
  • It is not OK. You learn some hard lessons at an early age. You are trapped by lies and insecurities and allow the first boy that showed attention to you take sacredness from you.  He berates and hits you eliminating any confidence you have. My heart hurts to remember this. He has hurt you real bad and you are like a worn timid puppy thinking there is nothing better than this—he tells you that but don’t believe his lies. It will hurt to leave but you must, and you do. You will see God helps you, though you don’t see it that way…at first. You do end up marrying a wonderful man and learn the true purpose of marriage.
  • Forgive. There is a lot you are holding in your fragile heart poisoning your heart, darkening it, you must forgive. In time, and with Someone’s help, you will.
  • God is real and He still speaks! You have heard about God and it is evident all around you. You finished your catechism, made your first holy communion when you were eight but this moment you are unsure.  You don’t believe there is a God–though inside you wonder if you could be wrong, especially after meeting several ‘different’ teenagers that seem to radiate a Light. But, right now your heart is so hardened and you think if God does exist He really wouldn’t want a worn out sinful teen as yourself—you’ve already messed up in so many ways.  But God does want you.  He’s drawing you right now.  All those people He’s sent into your life telling you the greatness of Who He is—but  you run the other way.  You make fun of these Christians. But He’s still with you. He’s with you right now. In three years you begin to seek Him hesitantly and in your own terms.
  • Don’t just wear the cross around your neck bear your own.

The ultimate Truth is you can’t do anything of these things on your own.  In fact it’s not what you know but Who you know that will heal you.

You need a Savior, you need Jesus Christ. Bring your brokenness to Jesus Christ. Sweetie, I know you make fun of Jesus lovers right now but you become one in seventeen years, and it’s the best decision you ever make. You will learn apart from Jesus Christ you can do nothing.  You will learn to know God the Father and Jesus Christ IS eternal life.  You will learn God’s Spirit must come BEFORE you can produce eternal fruit. You only need to believe on the Lord Jesus, turn from your sins and turn to Him and you will be saved. You cannot earn this GIFT of salvation, it is grace.

I know you are still reeling from receiving that Scholarship from Horatio Alger Association.  I also know deep down inside you feel they made a mistake.  You feel unworthy.  Especially after they flew you to Washington D.C. and you met all of those beautiful intelligent students from across the States—I hear your words, ‘Surely, they made a mistake.’ But they did not. “The lot may be cast into the lap but EVERY DECISION IS FROM THE LORD.” This was another gift of grace from the One that created you.

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom!” 2 Corinthians 3:17

But still you will spend many years trying to prove to others you deserved that scholarship.  Just like you will spend so many years trying to clean up and ‘be good’ to prove you deserve salvation—but the truth is, you don’t deserve the gift of salvation, none of us do.  We all deserve death, but Love came down—God incarnate, Jesus Christ came down and walked among us and died on the cross making the final sacrifice for the sins of everyone—the FINAL sacrifice. It is finished.

Aren’t you tired of trying? Draw near to God through Jesus Christ and you will taste and see the Lord is good and you will see how all this time God has been with you.  I know you want to do great things and before you were encouraged to make an ‘investment in America’s future’ but you will do even greater things…you will make an investment in God’s kingdom as you teach your children and sow God’s Word to those around you through your life of worship.

*One more thing…do you remember when your English teacher Mrs. Judi Conroy said, ‘Arcelia, you are beautiful, you are like an enclosed flower that is having a hard time growing but one day Someone would lift it and you will blossom.” Well, that Someone is Jesus Christ! You are free sweet one, your faith has healed you—now go and tell others!

**

This letter was inspired by Emily P.Freeman’s invitation to write a letter to my teenage self, in celebration of the release of her new book, Graceful, for teenage girls.

What would you say to yourself, as a teenager? This was very revealing and encouraging for me to write. I encourage you to do the same–even if you don’t share it with anyone else 😉

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August 11, 2012

For Love, Not Legalism: Casting Down An iDol

By altarofheaven

“Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love.” John 15:9

 The other day my son and I watched a video clip of several intentional disciples and lovers of Jesus Christ casting their self proclaimed ‘idols’ into a consuming fire. My son immediately cried out:

“I don’t want to throw my Legos into the fire!”

I asked him, “well, do you love your Legos more than God?”

He looked at me strangely and answered flatly, “Of course not!”

I told him, “Well then it doesn’t seem to be an idol. An idol is anything that you love more than God or distracts or keeps you from your fellowship with Him. It is something that becomes a false god and you worship it instead of the One True God.”

I went on to share with my son if he ever does come across an idol in his life he can go to God’s throne of grace to help him get rid of it.

The Hebrew word for idol ‘eliyl  means, “of naught, good for nothing, worthless, false god.”

It is worthless because it can’t do anything, it does not bring true peace, joy or comfort that only God can fulfill.

The second commandment tells us we ‘shall not’ make idols and worship them reminding us nothing deserves our worship other than God.  I must admit casting down idols does not always come easy for me, but since I have placed my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ I am empowered by Him. John 1:16-17 says:

“For of His (Jesus) fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace. For the Law was given through Moses; grace and truth were realized through Jesus Christ.”

It is true, I am no longer under the law but grace and  I am not condemned in what I eat, drink or do that is not ‘harmful’ to others–I am free in Jesus Christ.

However, I search and destroy idols in my life because I view them as encumbrances in the race of faith I am running. I’m on a journey with Jesus Christ, and as I walk closely with Him, and abide in Him, I love Him more and the things of this world seem to fade away. The times I struggle to unclench the worthless, He gives me the grace to let go. He also teaches me through the convictions of the Holy Spirit what potential encumbrances are in my life threatening to distract me from my first love: Jesus Christ; and my purpose: to glorify God.

I cast down idols not for legalism but for Love.

“Turn away my eyes from looking at vanity, and revive me in Your ways.” Psalm 119:37

This is one such confession I want to keep as a stone of remembrance so I won’t forget:

Along the way I got caught up in high tech communications like the iPhone leaving me feeling disconnected from the One in whom all good fruit flow from. This confusion and lack of peace had to stop!

My husband would jokingly say there must be a button on my car seat that lifts my phone to my ear the moment I sit down.  He was right.  I was distracted and hardly ever present and instead of prayerfully parenting with grace I saw my children as distractions to conversations I wanted to have. Then by God’s grace, I was convicted and I remembered why I’m here, and the assignment God gave me: to teach His statues diligently to my children all the time and the commission I have been given: to make disciples of all nations as I am going along.

In order to teach God’s statues they need to be on my heart and I need to be present. The Greek word for ‘abide’ menō is explained as, “to remain, not to depart, to continue to be present.” This is the same word Jesus used in John 15:5 when He said,

“I am the Vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.”

I am a conduit, not the source.

To teach my children I must be connected to the One who helps me to do ‘something’ of eternal value. Being present means to rest in Jesus Christ, wait on Him, and be content in the moment, not striving for the next moment to come, but seizing every opportunity to speak life into my children and those around me.

In terms of being a ‘present’ parent, that means being available to listen to the hearts of my children and to sow God’s Word into their hearts as He leads.  As He leads…this requires to be prayerfully connected to God in order to know the Words and right moment to speak into their hearts; after all, only He knows the hearts of all men.  He knows the words that will sustain my weary ones.

I have spent four years of my sons life and two years of my daughter’s life disconnected from God and from training them in His ways…I do not want to waste another moment, I want to bear much fruit, I want to be a worker in God’s harvest.  So one month ago I said:

“Good-bye iPhone, it’s not you, it’s me.  I have already replaced you with a ‘track phone’ I nicked named ‘wise phone’ as it helps me count the cost, measuring the minutes, and words bringing to my attention any idle word I make. I desire to be a purposeful, present, prayerful, parent and I cannot do this unless I remain connected to my power source Jesus Christ. I want to live an intentional life of a disciple of Jesus Christ.  I must not forget why I am here and iPhone, you distracted me too much…A Dios!”

I lay aside this idol and weight not for legalism but for Love. I desire to be continually connected and present abiding in God’s love through Jesus Christ seeking Him with all my heart.  I desire a deeper love with God, enabling me to pour out His love to those around me in the power of His Holy Spirit, all for His glory and honor.

I’m on my knees for us…

**After this stone of remembrance was written in my heart a fellow blogger shared this song “Clear the Stage” and it is one of my favorite songs this moment**

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July 31, 2012

10 + 3 = Redeeming Love

By altarofheaven

“He sent forth His Word and healed them; He rescued them from the grave.” Psalm 107:20


{A big stone of remembrance for my children}

Beloved son and daughter of my vow,

Give thanks to the Lord for He is good for His lovingkindness is everlasting! Today your Daddy and I praise God for the grace and mercy He has bestowed upon our marriage of 13 years for His Namesake.  Even beyond our newlywed years there were many things I didn’t understand about love and marriage and it wasn’t until the summer of 2009 when your Daddy and I became ‘one flesh’ that I began to understand.

That summer God led us to a marriage retreat at Scott River Lodge in Northern California where we went up a mountain as two and came down as one in Jesus Christ.  One of the most memorable moments is when we were baptized as a couple! When we came up from being immersed, your Daddy whispered in my ear:

The moment your Daddy took a stand to lead our family to live by faith.

“God has been talking to me this whole week, and everything we have is not ours; we are just stewards.  It is not our house, it’s not our car, and they are not even our children.  God entrusted everything to us! I am tired of this family investing in the things of the world, we are going to invest in God’s kingdom and it begins now….I want you to stay home full time with the kids so we can disciple them.  I don’t know how it’s going to happen, I don’t know how we will do it financially but the Word God gave me is in Habakkuk 2:4 ‘But the righteous will live by his faith’ and that is what we will do.”

Five months later God moved us to Alabama.

We can see now God was performing His Word in Habakkuk these past three years because we have been given many opportunities to live by our faith and trust in God: an overwhelming amount of debt, a drastic reduction in income, a call to home school, two car wrecks (one nearly fatal), pending foreclosure of a house and unemployment.

Through these trials, testing and discipline your Daddy has led us in praying:

‘Lord may we seek first Your kingdom and Your righteousness, may we trust in You and live by faith.’

In these fiery ordeals we continued to lift our hands praising and blessing God and God responded as He said He would! In just three years God has paid our financial debt, is teaching us to be content in all circumstances, is empowering us to disciple you, rescued Daddy and a friend from physical death, helped avoid foreclosure and sell the home, and provided a full time ministry for Daddy!! Today Daddy has a ministry not a ‘career’–as Daddy follows Jesus he has the privilege to ‘feed the homeless’ not just food that perishes but the imperishable food–God’s Word. Daddy is making disciples and is entrusting God’s word to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.

We are overwhelmed by God’s grace and mercy. God paid the debt of sin for sending His only Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross in our place and now He has paid our financial debt. And just as God rescued Daddy and his friend from physical death from the car wreck, by God’s grace and peace we have been rescued from spiritual death by the Lord Jesus Christ who gave Himself for our sins.

I am in awe of God! Not just for what He has done, but for Who He is. God is faithful, truthful, compassionate, abounding in lovingkindness, and righteous.

Sweet children, it is so important for you to know your Daddy and I are able to rejoice in 13 years of marriage not because we are perfect and good people—in fact God’s Word, the Bible tells us all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and there is no one good not even one.

We are able to celebrate this day because of the grace of God.  It is God who drew us to Himself and we did not harden our hearts when we heard His voice but fell in love with Him realizing He first loved us.  God’s love and Holy Spirit empowers us to love one another the way He has commanded us to love. Daddy is my closest neighbor and I love Him as myself, and He loves me as Himself.

Our hope is not having a perfect marriage, or a life without trials and pain, but our hope in Christ alone, we know from experience we cannot do this without Him.  We had 10 years of marriage without consulting or seeking God’s kingdom and it was very difficult to love apart from God…we even separated at one time. But God is the wonderful counselor and healer of all.  Just as we are made alive to God in Christ Jesus, so our marriage is alive in Christ Jesus for His purposes. God has made us righteous through faith in Jesus Christ, and that is how we are able to live by faith—to God be the glory!

My spirit can testify how I love Jesus Christ and I have a passion for Him that burns like fire within me, His purposes are my heart’s desire.

I love your Daddy too.  I love your Daddy more this moment then ever in my entire life. What I’m realizing is the more God continues to conform Daddy and I into the image of Jesus Christ my love for your Daddy grows because it is Jesus Christ in Him that unites us as One just as Jesus prayed, enabling me to love ‘my neighbor as myself.’ God’s banner of love abides over us and our lips shout for joy singing praises to God!

I must sow what I know in the hearts He’s entrusted me–yours…these are just a few things about love and marriage He continues to teach me:

Children of my vow, I pray for the day God will claim you as His own and you will enter into a covenant with Him–the the One True God.  I pray this not so you can have a wife or husband, or a ‘good life’ but so You will know Him for yourselves and You will serve Him and seek first His kingdom and righteousness all the days He ordains for you. I love you both.

Love your mama

**Psalm 103 is our 2012 anniversary song**

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