Tag Archives: freedom

Daily Holy COMMUN{ion}

This is a picture when I was eight years old. The day I made my first holy communion but it wasn't until I was 33 that I really had my 'First' holy communion with God!

“for through Him {Jesus Christ} we both have our access in one Spirit to the Father.” Ephesians 2:18

Do you prefer communication or communion with God?

Communication’ and ‘Communion’ have similar definitions. The first is the ‘imparting or exchanging of information or news’ and the latter is ‘the sharing of intimate thoughts and feelings…’

Communication can be cold and distant, while communion is intimate and relational and results in fellowship.

We were made to have unbroken communion, or fellowship with God.  Fellowship, or Koinōnia means: “fellowship, association, community, communion, joint participation, intercourse.”

Spending time with God in Holy Communion is a privilege we can experience because of what Jesus Christ has done (Ephesians 2:13; Ephesians 2:18; Ephesians 3:12).

For years I tried in my own strength to communicate with God; I prayed, I wrote to Him in journals, I even ‘completed’ my ‘first holy communion’. However, it was not until I was still and stopped talking, and started listening that I heard God for myself and had my first Holy COMMUNion with Him.

My religion turned into a relationship.

It was no longer a one way cold communication giving God my wish list of things I wanted, but became an intimate communion and sweet fellowship with Him. I wanted to know God. The more I sought God, the more I saw He is Holy and I am not.

God’s holiness shone so brightly I couldn’t help but see my own sin and undeserving heart to speak with the Creator Himself. But grace. God immersed me with His grace, and I understood what it meant to say, “Jesus is the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world.” A phrase I memorized at eight to make my first holy communion.

In the Spring of 2009 my eyes were unveiled and I saw how the sacrifice and blood of Jesus Christ cleansed me from my past and current sins allowing me to draw near to God. I saw how the resurrection power of Jesus Christ gives me power to abstain from future sin.  That day I was taken out of darkness and put into God’s marvelous light, given a new heart and title of daughter–a privilege to call the Creator, My Abba…Father.

It was the blood of Jesus Christ that cleansed me and brought me near to God, and it is still the blood of Jesus that cleanses me and keeps me near God giving me the power to ‘master sin’.

No, I have not yet‘mastered’ sin perfectly but I know my role: I ‘practice’ righteousness and God ‘perfects. I am on a journey towards perfection called sanctification and my mind is catching up with how God sees me in Christ. I’m learning the faith, power and victory to master sin comes from God alone, He dispenses the seeds of faith, Bread of Life and anointing for each day, it is up to me whether I take it.

I have tasted the Bread of Life and seen for myself the Lord is good, faithful and righteous. I want this treasure of communion with God more than ANYTHING and I desire to be conformed into the image of Jesus Christ so that I may have unbroken fellowship with God the Father through His Holy Spirit to be used as a vessel of mercy and grace for His kingdom purposes.

I am learning we can’t have unbroken fellowship or commune with God if we are practicing sin; His Word says,

“If I regard wickedness in my heart, the Lord will not hear;” Psalm 66:18

He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion. How blessed is the man who fears always, but he who hardens his heart will fall until calamity.” Proverbs 28:13-14

I am learning to come to boldly to God’s throne of grace and begin the day in a God morning.  This is a discipline turning into devotion for me. With the many fatal distractions and noise in this world I am making it a practice to wake up early in humble prayer asking God to help me set my mind on the things above not on the things of this earth.  I am learning to cast all my anxiety on God believing He cares for me. I am also learning to put my agenda, expectations and ‘to do’ lists on the altar remembering my life is no longer my own. I am beginning to delight myself in my crucifixion allowing my death to precede His living breath.

This is something I must do every morning and I’m learning to do it more throughout the day. I welcome and cooperate with the Holy Spirit as He reveals and convicts me of any sin in my life helping me to confess and repent and walk by faith in His righteous ways. I am learning transparency is transforming and God heals what we reveal. God does not finger point or condemn me for my sin, but rather He is there to save me from my sin…even the future sin.

In seeking God’s kingdom and righteousness first I am learning about the things I do which grieves the Holy Spirit. When the Holy Spirit convicts me of what I am doing (or not doing) I confess my sins, repent (turn from that behavior and turn to God).  I call this daily devotion: Retreat, Repent, Restore, Revive.

  • I Retreat from all physical and spiritual distractions to be alone with God with the intent to be still and listen
  • God’s Holiness reveals and gently convicts me of any current sin and I confess and He grants me the sorrow to Repent
  • God Restores me keeping me from condemnation encouraging me I am to walk by the Spirit He put in me
  • God Revives me according to His Words of life and His Spirit; I am made alive and I am giddy to have personally heard from my Abba—not through someone else’s devotion to God or book, or blog but from Him directly. This intimacy and love I have for Him gives me a desire to obey Him.

In this daily practice I have been experiencing revival by His Word and I have been receiving His times of refreshing that comes from his cleansing forgiveness and grace. I am learning to walk in the fear of the Lord and the comfort of the Holy Spirit.

The more time I spend with God, the more I know Him. The more I know God the more I love and trust Him, that is how I am learning to abide in Him–I am learning to rest in His purposes, His ways and His timing.

Why am I sharing this stone of remembrance with you? It is as John said under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit:

“…what we have seen and heard we proclaim to you also, so that you too may have fellowship with us and indeed our fellowship is with the Father and with His Son Jesus Christ. These things we write, so that our joy may be made complete.” 1 John 1:3-4

I am praying for you beLoved reader:

“The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit, be with you all. Amen” 2 Corinthians 13:14


Not About Survival But REVIVAL!

Praying for my city

“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” John 12:24

Survival: “The state or fact of continuing to live or exist, typically in spite of an accident, ordeal, or difficult circumstances.”

Revive: “Restore to life or consciousness…regain life, consciousness, or strength.”

For the majority of my life I would selfishly do whatever I could to survive in this world. This ranged from getting a higher education, making a six-figure salary and people pleasing. Whenever I encountered an adversity in my life I would ‘pull myself up from my bootstraps’ and press on to survival. It’s different for me now.

The closer I walk with Jesus Christ, the more is revealed about what is the hope of His calling, and the riches of His inheritance. I have learned my inheritance is not of this world. I am learning to set my mind on heavenly things and to release the white knuckle grip I’ve had on trying to survive in this world. I am no longer comfortable with survival because I want revival!

In order to revive something it must be DEAD first! That’s probably what my Lord Jesus Christ meant when He said:

“…If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me.” Luke 9:23

The NLT Bible translates ‘deny himself’ to ‘turn from your selfish ways’. This is great news: with a daily death comes daily revival by the power of God’s Holy Spirit.

I am learning the more I surrender my will, which includes my plans, purposes, reputation and schedule, the more God can work in and through me for His purposes. I’m learning to turn from my selfish survival mode to God’s Spirit revival mode:

Survival says: Revival says
*I want to keep my life for myself *I lose my life for the sake of Christ
*I must save myself *I entrust my life to God
*I don’t want to get hurt *I will share in the sufferings of Christ
*I want others to like me *I will share in the persecutions of Christ
*I can’t lose *I will gain Christ
*Promote yourself *I will deny myself
*Hold a tight grip on material possessions *I will give generously and sacrificially
*Clench your fists *I will surrender with open palms
*Cling to the world *I will cling to the Word of God (Jesus Christ)
*Stay on the ledge of legalism *I will float in the depths of God’s grace
*It’s OK to have a callous heart *Pierce and soften my heart God
*It’s about me *It’s about God’s kingdom
*Seek money and things of this world *Seek God’s kingdom and righteousness
*Be a slave to the law *Live in freedom in Christ
*Live safe *Live adventurously yielded to the Holy Spirit
*I must trust in manipulation * I will wait on the inspiration of the Holy Spirit

I don’t want to survive, I want to revive!

But let me be purely transparent with you…it’s not as easy as I say it. My flesh cries out, “survive…it’s about what you want…” This ‘battle’ begins every morning.

Each morning I have the opportunity to be revived when my alarm goes off.  I have a choice: wake up, humble and die to myself and meet with my Father through my Lord Jesus Christ fixing my eyes on Him, to receive His anointing for His kingdom assignment He has prepared for me, or quench the Holy Spirit and sleep in because my ‘flesh’ desires it.  It’s my ‘free will’ choice.

By God’s grace, I’m learning to kindle afresh the fire within me and reap the rewards of crucifying my flesh while yielding to the power of the Holy Spirit, thus experiencing His life abundant!  It is as Jesus Christ has said,

For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.” Matthew 16:25

Jesus Christ is the Way, the Truth, and the LIFE no one can come to the Father but through Him!

Authentic revival comes after our death and God’s breath in us. Only then will we bear authentic kingdom fruit, for the Spirit must come BEFORE the fruit!

May we the Church take up the cross daily and follow Jesus Christ not struggling to survive but surrendering and humbling ourselves waiting for God to revive us!

“And it shall be said, “Build up, build up, prepare the way, remove every obstacle out of the way of My people.” For thus says the high and exalted One Who lives forever, whose name is Holy, “I dwell on a high and holy place, and also with the contrite and lowly of spirit in order to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite.” Isaiah 57:14-15


Recline Now, Or Later?

"It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1

“It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1

Heroes are fearless and full of courage.  One of my favorite heroes is Harriet Tubman. “Born into slavery, Tubman escaped and subsequently made more than nineteen missions to rescue more than 300 slaves…”

 What amazes me the most about Harriet Tubman is what she did AFTER she was free….she went back to set the captives free!

Like Harriet Tubman, I too was born into slavery…a different kind of slavery: slavery to sin, but praise be to God I have been set free through Jesus Christ and now that I know Him and have tasted and seen the LORD is good I have the calling to set the captives free!

I’m learning there are a lot of things that can happen between now and my physical death, and my salvation is more than living in heaven with God…eternal life started when I was born again and I was given ears to hear God, eyes to seek His kingdom and a heart to know and love God. I have been entrusted with these gifts and now I am a steward of the mysteries of God. What I do with these gifts will determine whether I am a faithful steward…or not.

God says, “to those who have been given much, much is required.” I am enjoying my relationship with God, and this sweet fellowship through the blood of Jesus Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit is more fulfilling than anything I can explain.

But now what? Am I to recline with my Bible, listen and sing worship music and pray in one place only? Is that what I’m called to do? No! God has been clear: I must go and tell others the good news while clothed and anointed by His Holy Spirit, I must proclaim liberty to the captives and freedom to prisoners! (Matthew 28:19 Acts 1:4-5 Isaiah 61)

With a mournful heart I look out in this world and see:

  • People in bondage to sin, lonely and lost and yet do not know the remedy.
  • People in bondage to sin and yet do not want anything different.
  • People who have tasted and seen the LORD is good but have become distracted by the things of this world and quench and grieve the Holy Spirit living in them.
  • People who are free but are still standing in their jail cells with gates wide open unable to walk through the threshold because they lack faith and do not believe they have been forgiven because the accuser whispers lies to them.

With a joyful heart I also see soldiers for Christ clothed in the armor of God setting captives free through the power of the Holy Spirit.

I have been every one of these examples but the one I want to remain is a soldier for Christ filled with His Spirit setting captives free!

The only remaining I want to do is to remain in Christ. The only waiting I want to do is in The Lord, waiting patiently for the filling of His Holy Spirit because it is only by the anointing of His Holy Spirit that the captives are set free!

I embrace the responsibility to be a faithful steward of the ministry of reconciliation I have been given. I don’t always do this perfectly and I’ve had plenty of missed opportunities but in those occasions I fall on God’s grace and mercy and press on toward the upward calling He has given me.

I’m learning I must continually be in a position of humility taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, confessing my sins and remaining in repentance toward God so I can remain holy as He is Holy.

I must be careful not to quench or grieve the Holy Spirit Who lives in me…only then can God use me as a holy sanctified vessel for His use. He is the One who does it and He is looking for yielded vessels that will cooperate with the Holy Spirit, vessels of mercy and grace that will say, not my will but Your will be done...’

The love of God compels me to tell those in bondage they no longer have to be a slave to sin and death. Though sin has created a separation between us and God,  God has made a way to be reconciled through the blood of Jesus Christ who has taken the punishment of the sins of the world. Jesus not only died for our sins but He rose from the dead three days later and He is alive today and has prayed we would receive a Helper, the Holy Spirit Who guides us into all truth and gives us the courage to live in this world!

We must believe in our hearts and confess with our mouths Jesus Christ as Lord and yield ourselves completely to His Holy Spirit and walk in newness of LIFE! May God’s will be done on earth as it is in heaven!

Recline now or later? I choose later…

Blessed are those slaves whom the master will find on the alert when he comes; truly I say to you, that he will gird himself to serve, and have them recline at the table, and will come up and wait on them.” Luke 12:37
More bread to feast on:
Luke 12:35-40; 2 Corinthians 3; 2 Corinthians 4
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A Stone Of Remembrance Never Collected…Until Now

“Then you will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free.” John 8:32

 

This is a letter {stone of remembrance} to my 16-year old self:

Hey you, beautiful young lady—yes I called you beautiful.  I see you. I see you hiding in the family pantry contemplating death.  I see the wounds you cover up with anger, jealousy, hatred fueled by insecurities and perfectionism.  I see your sadness and perpetual feeling of loss from a broken home, not having your mama to raise you. I see your tear stained pillow. I weep with you right now.

My heart groans for your sadness and hurt and how you numb yourself and put on masks trying to be all you can be for everyone. There are so many truths I want to share with you but I only have time for a few:

  • Stop comparing yourself to others. You know that one girl that you have compared yourself since sixth grade? You know who I’m talking about—you say, ‘she’s everything I am not.’ Stop comparing…you will find out later at graduation day she signs your yearbook saying how much she admires you! Run your own race sweetheart—one day you will learn to keep your eyes fixed on Someone else.
  • Stop letting your insecurities keep you from loving others. See yourself and others as God sees you; God has gifted each of us differently, celebrate the differences don’t envy others or wish yourself away—someday you will be free to enjoy the Butterflies!
  • Stop trying to please others and force friendships. Don’t you feel like you’re trying too hard? It only makes you feel rejected and lost when they don’t respond to your friendly smile or notes.  God wants you to have friendships too—one day you will learn ‘The Gift and Purpose of Friendship’!
  • Stop being distracted by the things of this world. Yes, it’s difficult to be a United States Marine Corps  ‘base kid’ in a school full of students with wealthy two parent homes. That is one of the reasons you end up throwing yourself into making money…and you do make over $100K before you turn 34 but one day you fall in love and follow Someone very special exchanging worldly rags for glorious riches!
  • Keep Writing! You have written journals and stories since you were eight years old—don’t stop I enjoy reading them and seeing how God has transformed and made a redeemed life beautiful—I call them stones of remembrances.
  • Don’t live in fear. I know the near fatal accident of your Daddy when you were five left you living in fear of losing someone you love.  I know how you keep a distance from people because you know they will someday leave but sweetie, just let go and love without fear because God will give you the grace to go through any loss.
  • It is not OK. You learn some hard lessons at an early age. You are trapped by lies and insecurities and allow the first boy that showed attention to you take sacredness from you.  He berates and hits you eliminating any confidence you have. My heart hurts to remember this. He has hurt you real bad and you are like a worn timid puppy thinking there is nothing better than this—he tells you that but don’t believe his lies. It will hurt to leave but you must, and you do. You will see God helps you, though you don’t see it that way…at first. You do end up marrying a wonderful man and learn the true purpose of marriage.
  • Forgive. There is a lot you are holding in your fragile heart poisoning your heart, darkening it, you must forgive. In time, and with Someone’s help, you will.
  • God is real and He still speaks! You have heard about God and it is evident all around you. You finished your catechism, made your first holy communion when you were eight but this moment you are unsure.  You don’t believe there is a God–though inside you wonder if you could be wrong, especially after meeting several ‘different’ teenagers that seem to radiate a Light. But, right now your heart is so hardened and you think if God does exist He really wouldn’t want a worn out sinful teen as yourself—you’ve already messed up in so many ways.  But God does want you.  He’s drawing you right now.  All those people He’s sent into your life telling you the greatness of Who He is—but  you run the other way.  You make fun of these Christians. But He’s still with you. He’s with you right now. In three years you begin to seek Him hesitantly and in your own terms.
  • Don’t just wear the cross around your neck bear your own.

The ultimate Truth is you can’t do anything of these things on your own.  In fact it’s not what you know but Who you know that will heal you.

You need a Savior, you need Jesus Christ. Bring your brokenness to Jesus Christ. Sweetie, I know you make fun of Jesus lovers right now but you become one in seventeen years, and it’s the best decision you ever make. You will learn apart from Jesus Christ you can do nothing.  You will learn to know God the Father and Jesus Christ IS eternal life.  You will learn God’s Spirit must come BEFORE you can produce eternal fruit. You only need to believe on the Lord Jesus, turn from your sins and turn to Him and you will be saved. You cannot earn this GIFT of salvation, it is grace.

I know you are still reeling from receiving that Scholarship from Horatio Alger Association.  I also know deep down inside you feel they made a mistake.  You feel unworthy.  Especially after they flew you to Washington D.C. and you met all of those beautiful intelligent students from across the States—I hear your words, ‘Surely, they made a mistake.’ But they did not. “The lot may be cast into the lap but EVERY DECISION IS FROM THE LORD.” This was another gift of grace from the One that created you.

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom!” 2 Corinthians 3:17

But still you will spend many years trying to prove to others you deserved that scholarship.  Just like you will spend so many years trying to clean up and ‘be good’ to prove you deserve salvation—but the truth is, you don’t deserve the gift of salvation, none of us do.  We all deserve death, but Love came down—God incarnate, Jesus Christ came down and walked among us and died on the cross making the final sacrifice for the sins of everyone—the FINAL sacrifice. It is finished.

Aren’t you tired of trying? Draw near to God through Jesus Christ and you will taste and see the Lord is good and you will see how all this time God has been with you.  I know you want to do great things and before you were encouraged to make an ‘investment in America’s future’ but you will do even greater things…you will make an investment in God’s kingdom as you teach your children and sow God’s Word to those around you through your life of worship.

*One more thing…do you remember when your English teacher Mrs. Judi Conroy said, ‘Arcelia, you are beautiful, you are like an enclosed flower that is having a hard time growing but one day Someone would lift it and you will blossom.” Well, that Someone is Jesus Christ! You are free sweet one, your faith has healed you—now go and tell others!

**

This letter was inspired by Emily P.Freeman’s invitation to write a letter to my teenage self, in celebration of the release of her new book, Graceful, for teenage girls.

What would you say to yourself, as a teenager? This was very revealing and encouraging for me to write. I encourage you to do the same–even if you don’t share it with anyone else 😉


For Love, Not Legalism: Casting Down An iDol

“Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love.” John 15:9

 The other day my son and I watched a video clip of several intentional disciples and lovers of Jesus Christ casting their self proclaimed ‘idols’ into a consuming fire. My son immediately cried out:

“I don’t want to throw my Legos into the fire!”

I asked him, “well, do you love your Legos more than God?”

He looked at me strangely and answered flatly, “Of course not!”

I told him, “Well then it doesn’t seem to be an idol. An idol is anything that you love more than God or distracts or keeps you from your fellowship with Him. It is something that becomes a false god and you worship it instead of the One True God.”

I went on to share with my son if he ever does come across an idol in his life he can go to God’s throne of grace to help him get rid of it.

The Hebrew word for idol ‘eliyl  means, “of naught, good for nothing, worthless, false god.”

It is worthless because it can’t do anything, it does not bring true peace, joy or comfort that only God can fulfill.

The second commandment tells us we ‘shall not’ make idols and worship them reminding us nothing deserves our worship other than God.  I must admit casting down idols does not always come easy for me, but since I have placed my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ I am empowered by Him. John 1:16-17 says:

“For of His (Jesus) fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace. For the Law was given through Moses; grace and truth were realized through Jesus Christ.”

It is true, I am no longer under the law but grace and  I am not condemned in what I eat, drink or do that is not ‘harmful’ to others–I am free in Jesus Christ.

However, I search and destroy idols in my life because I view them as encumbrances in the race of faith I am running. I’m on a journey with Jesus Christ, and as I walk closely with Him, and abide in Him, I love Him more and the things of this world seem to fade away. The times I struggle to unclench the worthless, He gives me the grace to let go. He also teaches me through the convictions of the Holy Spirit what potential encumbrances are in my life threatening to distract me from my first love: Jesus Christ; and my purpose: to glorify God.

I cast down idols not for legalism but for Love.

“Turn away my eyes from looking at vanity, and revive me in Your ways.” Psalm 119:37

This is one such confession I want to keep as a stone of remembrance so I won’t forget:

Along the way I got caught up in high tech communications like the iPhone leaving me feeling disconnected from the One in whom all good fruit flow from. This confusion and lack of peace had to stop!

My husband would jokingly say there must be a button on my car seat that lifts my phone to my ear the moment I sit down.  He was right.  I was distracted and hardly ever present and instead of prayerfully parenting with grace I saw my children as distractions to conversations I wanted to have. Then by God’s grace, I was convicted and I remembered why I’m here, and the assignment God gave me: to teach His statues diligently to my children all the time and the commission I have been given: to make disciples of all nations as I am going along.

In order to teach God’s statues they need to be on my heart and I need to be present. The Greek word for ‘abide’ menō is explained as, “to remain, not to depart, to continue to be present.” This is the same word Jesus used in John 15:5 when He said,

I am the Vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.”

I am a conduit, not the source.

To teach my children I must be connected to the One who helps me to do ‘something’ of eternal value. Being present means to rest in Jesus Christ, wait on Him, and be content in the moment, not striving for the next moment to come, but seizing every opportunity to speak life into my children and those around me.

In terms of being a ‘present’ parent, that means being available to listen to the hearts of my children and to sow God’s Word into their hearts as He leads.  As He leads…this requires to be prayerfully connected to God in order to know the Words and right moment to speak into their hearts; after all, only He knows the hearts of all men.  He knows the words that will sustain my weary ones.

I have spent four years of my sons life and two years of my daughter’s life disconnected from God and from training them in His ways…I do not want to waste another moment, I want to bear much fruit, I want to be a worker in God’s harvest.  So one month ago I said:

Good-bye iPhone, it’s not you, it’s me.  I have already replaced you with a ‘track phone’ I nicked named ‘wise phone’ as it helps me count the cost, measuring the minutes, and words bringing to my attention any idle word I make. I desire to be a purposeful, present, prayerful, parent and I cannot do this unless I remain connected to my power source Jesus Christ. I want to live an intentional life of a disciple of Jesus Christ.  I must not forget why I am here and iPhone, you distracted me too much…A Dios!”

I lay aside this idol and weight not for legalism but for Love. I desire to be continually connected and present abiding in God’s love through Jesus Christ seeking Him with all my heart.  I desire a deeper love with God, enabling me to pour out His love to those around me in the power of His Holy Spirit, all for His glory and honor.

I’m on my knees for us…

**After this stone of remembrance was written in my heart a fellow blogger shared this song “Clear the Stage” and it is one of my favorite songs this moment**


Incredible Hulk or Incredible Walk?

“…walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh” Galatians 5:16

One day as I watched my son play with the Incredible Hulk action figure, I asked myself:

“Are my kids seeing the incredible hulk or an incredible walk?”

When I was a little girl I was nicknamed ‘little hulk’ because anytime I would get angry I would get a stiff neck, clench my fists, shake and growl.  Instead of turning green I would turn red. My sisters would give a warning to those around, “watch out here comes the incredible hulk!”  My sisters and I look back and laugh at those days…the days I was a strong willed child and did not submit easily.

Today I am not that child, and behavior like that is inexcusable because I have been reborn and I am spiritually alive! The day I submitted to God He gave me a new heart and put His Holy Spirit in me and tells me the way to walk.  I want to be a witness for God and pray my children remember an incredible walk with God, not the ‘incredible hulk’ in me.

This is easier said than done because I still struggle with my flesh…my pride and own selfish desires and expectations, but the more I seek God the more He equips me to identify the signs of when the ‘hulk’ in me is coming out. When my neck is stiff, heart races, hands begin to clench and my voice changes I know it’s time for me to step away and be alone with my Heavenly Father.  I fall on my face and cry out to my Abba for help, asking Him for the grace to walk by His Spirit and to obey Him.  He ALWAYS helps when I am not stiff necked and humble myself–ALWAYS. It’s up to me whether I unclench my hands to receive His grace or not.

God’s Word washes over my heart and reminds me I have already been set free:

“…you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you.  But if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Him.  If Christ is in you, though the body is dead because of sin, yet the spirit is alive because of righteousness.  But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.  So then, brethren, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh for if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live.  For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.” Romans 8:9-14

I am a daughter of God.  I am made holy by the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. I am not in the flesh because the Spirit of God dwells in me.  I am to walk by the Holy Spirit because He lives in me! This is a disciplined life, a life of a disciple of Jesus Christ, one who walks with Him.

Today my children are learning through me what it means to walk by the Spirit.  They are learning the Spirit must come before the “fruit.” We are learning together the ‘incredible walk’ is not a perfect walk but a walk of humility, discipline and faith.  I tell them, “Mommy feels the hulk coming on, I’m going to go pray and be alone with God, I’ll be right back.”  They understand.  I pray one day they will be blessed with the spiritual understanding and knowledge only God can provide.

I am praying for you reader.  If you are still in full bondage of being a hulk I pray God shows you His power and love of what He has done by sending Jesus Christ as an offering for sin, condemning sin in the flesh.

For those that are already children of God, my brethren I pray these Scriptures for us:

“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh” Galatians 5:16

“If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.” Galatians 5:25

“If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. “1 John 1:8-9

*More Bread to feast on: Romans 7 Romans 8; Galatians 5:16-25; 1 Corinthians 13:11


Greater Love Requires Greater Sacrifice

Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13)

“Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13)

Today in America we remember the Soldiers, Marines, Sailors, Airmen, and Coast Guard service men and women who died while serving the United States. These selfless men and women have denied themselves to ensure the freedom of others.  My husband and I recently watched ‘Act of Valor’ and one of my favorite quotes from that movie is:

If you are not willing to give up everything, you’ve already lost.”

As a veteran I understand this statement completely. When I joined the military, I joined with the intention and volition I would give my life for my Country. The oath I took solidified my intentions:

I, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter. So help me God.

So help me God.  I’ve always needed God’s help.  As a Soldier in God’s Kingdom I still need God’s help because if I am not willing to give up everything—even myself, then I have already lost.  Jesus Christ tells us:

“…If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” Luke 9:23

For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it.” Mark 8:35

Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” John 12:24

Heavenly Father, I am so thankful for my brothers and sisters who have sacrificed their physical lives to protect the freedom of others.  By the power of the Holy Spirit, I pray You will comfort those who are mourning the loss of a loved one. As Your ambassador and soldier I pray for those currently serving in the armed forces and those serving to build Your kingdom; praying we serve with the strength that You provide so that in all things You may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.

The greatest sacrifice I know that has ever been given extends beyond this Nation and has been given for the FREEDOM of all…everyday may I memorialize that day by the way I love and serve others. I thank God our Father for Jesus Christ, the perfect sacrifice, the Lamb of God Who takes away the sins of the world.

He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.” 1 Peter 2:24

“Suffer hardship with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No soldier in active service entangles himself in the affairs of everyday life, so that he may please the one who enlisted him as a soldier.” 2 Timothy 2:3-4


Free To Enjoy the Butterflies!!

Photo Credit: Photo prise le 5 mai 2006 (© majamarko / Flickr)

Photo prise le 5 mai 2006 (© majamarko / Flickr)

Do you like butterflies? Do you know the colors you see on butterflies are not from pigmentation, but rather they are a reflection of light? It’s true! I was watching God of Wonders when I discovered this awesome truth!

Butterflies were created with microscopic bio-photonic scales and the colors you see reflect the light of the sun.  Does this sound similar to someone else God created?

Like you and me…we are created in the image of God and if you are a Christian you can reflect the Light of the Son (Jesus Christ).  The Light that shines in you is not from you but from Him.

It was through this revelation that God has freed me from something I had been struggling with off and on in my life…OK I’m about to be transparent so please give grace:

Envy. Jealousy.

There I said it. I confessed it and God has cleansed me and I repent-turn from my sin of envy and jealousy and turn to Jesus Christ, the One who is able to keep me by the power of His Holy Spirit. Now He wants me to share with you…

Because of my insecurities of being a Mother I would sometimes feel green towards other Mothers. I would compare myself to her. I can’t cook like that. I can’t draw like that. I can’t write like that. I can’t…the list went on.  Instead of enjoying how God created them I was stuck on what He didn’t create in me. I forgot that He already created in me a clean heart–but I acted as an unbeliever. I had an ungrateful, un-thankful and critical heart which made for a lonely journey.

It was lonely because I didn’t allow myself to get close to anyone and God had to protect the woman–He was not going to allow me to hold the heart of another woman if I had envy and selfish ambition.  He told me this in James 3:13-18:

“Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.”

When God speaks, I listen.  His Words cut to the core of my green heart and now that I knew what the problem was, I knew how to pray.  I prayed for wisdom from heaven, I prayed I would be a peacemaker sowing peace to reap a harvest of righteousness for His kingdom.  I prayed I would abide and remain in Jesus Christ because I knew apart from Him I could only bear artificial fruit. I couldn’t ‘fake it’ I needed Him to surgically remove this root of bitterness and envy and help me to see other women as He does…then He gave me the butterfly. Wow, wow, wow!

As I heard how butterflies  reflect light I pondered all the different kinds of butterflies that are out there I realized they are doing what He created them to do and they are ‘being‘ what He created them to be…reflect light.  When I surrendered and gave God my green heart and when I prayed for His wisdom guess what happened?

I could see the hearts of other women (saved and unsaved)! I could be gracious and compassionate regardless how they reflected (or didn’t reflect) His Light.  And NOW I knew what I was supposed to do…pray.

Pray and thank the Lord for how He made those that reflect His Light–love them and thank them for their obedience and glorify God with them!

Pray for and LOVE those that do not yet shine His Light, or have green hearts toward me or are flickering.

In all cases, love and thank the Creator for the created.

So now I am free to enjoy the Butterflies…not just the ones outside flying around but the ones I see all around me. Women who love God and serve Him and share Him with others.  Women who are far from Him.  I now refuse to be used against God and I choose love.  I do this because I love Him.

You can’t sow what you don’t know.  Now I am ready to teach my children how to appreciate how God uniquely created them and others to reflect His Son. I’m glad I have this stone of remembrance that I can visit the next time I am tempted to look at others and not the Author and Perfecter of my Faith-Jesus Christ.

What about you? Do you appreciate the gifts, talents, creativity of others or do you let insecurities keep you from appreciating them limiting your ability to glorify God?

I’m praying for you dear reader. If you do not know our Creator, I pray He will draw you to Himself and open your eyes to see His glory and give you a new heart and put His Spirit inside you. I pray He will surround you with saints in Light that are loving you to Jesus Christ.

For my brethren I pray that we ‘may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that [we] will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for the attaining of all steadfastness and patience; joyously giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints in Light.” (Colossians 1:9-12)

Praying my daughter is a wise woman who fears the Lord and sees herself and others as God sees

“But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was. But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does.” James 1:22-25


Do you KNOW or do you know OF?

Jesus said “All things have been handed over to Me by My Father; and no one knows the Son except the Father; nor does anyone know the Father except the Son, and anyone to whom the Son wills to reveal Him.” (Matthew 11:27)

I am humbled, I am thankful, I am sorrowful when I read this truth.  I am humbled because I realize the loving relationship I have with My Father (God) and His Son (Jesus Christ) is not because of ANYTHING I’ve done right. I am thankful He has revealed Himself to me.  I am sorrowful for those who do not know Him.  For 32 years I was one who knew ‘of’ God but I didn’t ‘know’ God personally.

Again I am humbled I ‘get’ to know Him so intimately when I don’t deserve to.  I’ve done MANY things wrong, I was born a sinner. A person who naturally wants to disobey God.  A person who is naturally selfish, impatient, unkind, jealous, envious, brags, arrogant, and can act unbecomingly….I seek my own agendas, I am provoked and I keep a record of wrongs.   Yes, I am talking about myself.  I am talking about my ‘natural’ self.  Do you want to be my friend?

I’ve used those terms to describe myself because 1 Corinthians 13 was a Scripture God revealed to me in the Spring of 2009 to show me I was a sinner (before that I thought I was a good person).  God’s Word in 1 Corinthians 13 tells us what love is, you should read it.  Do you know the greatest commandment is “YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND. This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.’ On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.”  Ok stay with me…God COMMANDS we LOVE Him and others: He ‘COMMANDS’ it, but in my natural state do I? Can I? No! I told you how my natural state is selfish, sinful (disobedient to God) I can’t LOVE God let alone another person! I see the standard.  I see I cannot make the standard and I see I am not a good person. Most devastating to me is I see that I am not loving God and that’s what breaks me….and I weep. I weep and weep because I want to love God with all my heart, soul and mind but how?

My gentle Father does not leave me in the state of sadness but provides me relief and comfort.  He tells me I am forgiven and He loves me.  He tells me just how much He loves….“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.  For God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world but that the world might be saved through Him.” (John 3:16-17).  

You would think after calling myself all of those horrible selfish adjectives I would condemn myself and go into deep state of sadness but did you read John 3:17?  Read it again “For God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.”  My Father tells me, ‘my sweet child, I do not condemn you, neither should you condemn yourself…or others.’ I was smitten ever since and by His grace and mercy, His Truth has set me free!

The spring of 2009 was just the beginning of my relationship with God my Father and every day I have a retreat with Him.  It is at these retreats He reminds me I am forgiven, He gives me daily bread and grace and shows me how to love Him and how to love others. How does He show me?  Through His Word (Bible) and through His Holy Spirit that lives inside me…an inaudible voice that speaks to my heart and says, this is the way, walk in it…

Jesus Messiah, my Lord and Savior said: “This is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.” John 17:3

I am intentionally praying for all readers of this blog…yes YOU. I am praying you know and love Him and if you already do, I pray you are growing in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Do you Know the only true God and Jesus Christ? When were you smitten?