Tag Archives: miscarriage

Storms of Sorrow

Mother’s Day has brought me sorrow in many seasons of my life. At times, it has felt like waves in a storm threatening to tip the boat, leaving me gasping for air.

I’m learning that no one can escape sorrow.

Growing up, Mother’s Day was difficult because it reminded me of the void in my life without my mom. Later, it became painful in a different way, watching others have children while, after five years of marriage, it felt like we might never have one of our own. Another storm came when we lost a child in my womb, leaving behind an ache that began to harden my heart.

But one day it seemed as if the sun broke through the clouds, and the storm quieted bringing forth the joyful days of being a mom. But I won’t glamorize it. There have been many days of sanctifying sorrow in parenting, mostly moments that revealed my own selfishness and need for growth.

Today, my children are almost 21 and 19, and I feel another kind of sorrow returning. The journey is changing, and life at home looks different now.

What I’m learning is this: we can all relate to sorrow. Our circumstances may differ, but the ache is familiar.

Maybe you grew up without your mom, or without good memories of her.

Maybe you’re still waiting for children while others around you have them.


Maybe motherhood has been harder than you imagined.

Maybe you’re a mom with an empty nest due to a transition to a different location here…or in heaven. 

Today may carry an ache for you. I acknowledge that ache.

There is something we all share besides sorrow, whether we knew our mother’s or not: each of us was knit together in our mother’s womb by God. And this same God meets us in our storms.

He can speak to the wind and calm it.
Or… we can go deeper by calling out to Him and rest with Him in the boat of the storm. He can teach us to trust Him in the middle of the storms of sorrow. It won’t be easy, but it’s worth it.

The choice of trusting Him keeps our hearts tender and grows our faith in Him and compassion for others, allowing us to experience a comfort only He can provide. He knows the ache of sorrow. He is the man of sorrows, His name is Jesus. 

Dear reader, whether this is a happy or hurtful Mother’s Day I pray you are comforted by the One who knitted you in your Mother’s womb. May you know the One who carries your sorrows. You are loved.

*Inspired by my personal sorrow and by my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ Matthew 8:23-27 and Isaiah 53:3-5

Matthew 8:23-27

When He got into the boat, His disciples followed Him. And behold, a violent storm developed on the sea, so that the boat was being covered by the waves; but Jesus Himself was asleep. And they came to Him and woke Him, saying, “Save us, Lord; we are perishing!” He *said to them, “Why are you afraid, you men of little faith?” Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and it became perfectly calm. The men were amazed, and said, “What kind of a man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey Him?”

Isaiah 53:3-5

“He was despised and forsaken of men, A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; And like one from whom men hide their face He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. Surely our griefs He Himself bore, And our sorrows He carried; Yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken, Smitten of God, and afflicted. But He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, And by His scourging we are healed.”


Downsized. {A Bite Size Testimony}

Things you might have not known about our family…
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In 2006 I was pregnant with our second child and promoted to a Captain in the Air Force.

We were building our ‘dream home’ in North Carolina because I was assigned to a three year controlled tour to teach Air Force ROTC at Duke University. Everything seemed ‘perfect’ and was going ‘our way’ until…

In a span of a few weeks we experienced great losses in our family.  I was unexpectedly told I had to get out of the Air Force because they were downsizing.

This was a huge blow for me because I had planned to make the Air Force my lifetime career.  I was prior enlisted and the Air Force had paid for my education at The George Washington University to become an Officer, and now they were telling me I had to leave.

Not only did I lose my career, but we also lost the home and assignment in N. Carolina. The final loss was the hardest, I miscarried our much awaited baby.

During this season of my life I believed there was a God. In fact I ran to Him when all of this happened, but I still did not worship Him.

I was more interested in what God could do for me than to know Him.

The Air Force was my identity and when I got out of the Air Force I was lost. The Air Force was my god and direction. I started to fall into depression, eagerly looking for things and stuff to fill the void in my heart.
To be continued….

**This week I will be sharing ‘bite size’ portions of my testimony in honor of my 7 year spiritual birthday which is this week!!!**

*Part 2

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