Tag Archives: resting

Repented of Salvation Ambition: Remembering We Sow, He Grows

Just as you do not know the path of the wind and how bones are formed in the womb of the pregnant woman, so you do not know the activity of God who makes all things.” (Ecclesiastes 11:5)

My son recently lost his first tooth! When it was first loose I asked him if he wanted us to pull it out and he gently replied,

“No mama, I want don’t want anyone to mess with it. I want it to come out when it’s time.”

Those last few words stayed in my heart: “when it’s time…”

I thought of how I usually don’t ‘wait’ for the appointed time whatever ‘it’ is.  I’m usually eager to get ‘it’ done! It is from this habit I have another confession…

Confession:

I can become easily distracted and try to rush the salvation of others.

I never thought witnessing could turn into selfish ambition but it can—I now call it “salvation ambition.”  I realize it’s harder with my family because I want them to know God and Jesus Christ so badly, I sometimes over step my boundaries by looking away from Jesus Christ to myself or to their walks with Him.  I anxiously want to know my role, my part in their salvation.

I receive God’s gentle correction when I read John 21:1-23:

Peter had just told Jesus he loved Him and was given instructions to tend and shepherd the lambs and sheep of Jesus Christ and to FOLLOW JESUS but Peter still asks:

Lord, who is the one who betrays You?….Lord, and what about this man?” (20,21)

Peter gets distracted…

What was Jesus’ response?

“…If I want him to remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow Me!”

God has been using these passages for the past 2 years to help discipline my walk with Him and stop looking at the walks of others.  Jesus is the path—the Way the Truth and the Life and I need to watch Him and do not look to the left or right but keep my eyes fixed on Him, the Author and Perfecter of faith.

Examining and ‘judging’ the walks of others in my flesh has been a temptation and distraction and I repent…that is one of the reasons I am off Facebook.  God has convicted me to put my face in His book and write about my faith in a book for my children {my journal} to share the stones of remembrances He has given our family.

God has reminded me my role in evangelism and making disciples is to share the Gospel, tend His sheep and lambs, and follow Him.

As I follow Jesus Christ, will there be distractions? Yes! They come in many forms; one for me is selfish ambition.  For example I want my children to be saved.  I ask Jesus, ‘will they be the ones to betray You?”  Jesus responds, “If I want {them} to remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow Me!”

I humbly say to my Savior since nothing is hidden from Him:

But I’m their mama and I love them, and their salvation matters to me because I want them to love and know You, I want them to live with you forever.” There was the selfish “salvation ambition”:

I. Want.

Jesus Christ reminds me the cost of being His disciple:

“…If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.”  Matthew 16:24

Did you catch that? BEFORE I can FOLLOW Jesus Christ I must deny myself…take up my cross (crucify myself) THEN Follow Him.  That means deny my ‘selfish ambitions.’

I ask God, “what about when you say to make disciples of all nations?”

He reminds me the making of disciples is not done in my strength but true disciple making is done in His power, the power of His Holy Spirit.  He can use me when I am obedient and empty myself and am filled with His Spirit.  When I am His vessel filled with His Spirit my utterances are His; I don’t move until He tells me to move.

I have a new perspective…

·         My vision is Jesus Christ

·         My goal is obedience to God

·         The strategy: The Holy Spirit

The goal is not forcing salvation on others like my children, the goal is obeying Jesus Christ by humbling myself everyday and following Him.

I must follow Jesus Christ, listen to Him, trust and obey Him so that I can tend the lambs (my children) He has given me and I can intercede and pray for them and ask God to give me opportunities to share the Gospel in deed and truth with them, knowing only He enlightens people, and shines into their hearts giving them understanding of His Word.  Only He draws others to Himself.  God does use human vessels (believers) but it is done in His strength so that the “surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves”.

So what is my assignment?

The truth is, God wants them to come to Him too {Matthew 18:14; 2 Peter 3:9;}. I need to trust in God, hope in Him, wait on His timing and be patient and pray. When the opportunity to be the hands and feet and mouth of Jesus Christ comes I am compelled to sow and water the seeds as He leads praying He will cause a growth.

Jesus I am resting, resting…

So then neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but God who causes the growth. Now he who plants and he who waters are one; but each will receive his own reward according to his own labor. For we are God’s fellow workers; you are God’s field, God’s building.” 1 Corinthians 3:7-9


My soul is like a weaned child within me

“Surely I have composed and quieted my soul; like a weaned child rests against his mother, my soul is like a weaned child within me” (Psalm 131:2)

Have you ever held a nursing child that is hungry? Their mouths open and close like baby birds moving their heads, striving to find the mother’s milk, never stopping or resting until they find it.  Have you ever seen a weaned child sleep on her mother’s chest? The child is still, peaceful—just resting, remaining, abiding. What a beautiful picture of what our walk with Jesus Christ can be if we just rest and abide in Him as He tells us in John 15:5. I know this truth, and I want this, but sometimes I am like a nursing child reaching, striving and not resting.  Again, struggling because I want to do BIG things for God, I want to ‘go up.’  Then I get a revelation…again.

I am doing BIG things for Him.  He has given me the role of a Mother.  He has given me instructions and tasks He has for me according to His perfect will.  I have the privilege as a Mother to fill my children with His love, making them wholehearted children with undivided hearts completely devoted to Him.  I have a calling. I have a mission…and I feel the deep sense of purpose as a Mother as never before.  I want to be present, available, flexible, teachable, moldable for God so He can love my children and others through me

In Judges 13:1-25 God confirms this new conviction He has given me. This is a true story about the parents of Samson, the one who began to deliver Israel from the hands of the Philistines. 

Samson’s Mother was visited by the angel of the LORD and was told she would give birth to a son (even though she was barren). 

  • He gave her instructions: “…be careful not to drink wine or strong drink, nor eat any unclean thing…and no razor shall come upon his head, for the boy shall be a Nazirite to God from the womb” (v.4-5)
  • He gave her a glimpse of the child’s role in God’s purpose/plan:for the boy shall be a Naziritie to God from the womb; and he shall begin to deliver Israel from the hands of the Philistines” (v.5)
  • Her next step…She ‘told her husband’:Then the woman came and told her husband…” (v.6-7)
  • Then the husband Manoah prayed: “…O Lord, please let the man of God whom You have sent come to us again that he may teach us what to do for the boy who is to be born.” (v.8)
  • God hears Manoah and the angel of God came again to the woman! (v.9)
  • She runs quickly to get her husband because he was not with her when the angel came a second time (v.9-10)
  • Manoah asks a direct question to the angel:Now when your words come to pass, what shall be the boy’s mode of life and vocation?”(v.12)
  • The angel’s response:Let the woman pay attention to all that I said” (v.13)
My heart ponders the angel’s response to the question “…what shall be the boy’s mode of life and his vocation” the response being:

Let the woman pay attention to all that I said.”

Wow!  Pay attention! Only a woman can carry a child in her womb by God’s grace and be called a Mother. Only a Mother can eat or drink the right things that will impact the growth of the baby in her womb.  This is by God’s design and purpose.  Pregnancy is a beautiful picture of God working in and through us for His good purpose but it does not end there.  In fact, there are plenty of Mothers that have not carried their child in the womb but they must also ‘pay attention’ to all that God has said, making sure she is eating and drinking the right things that will impact the spiritual growth of her child.

All of us Mothers need to be eating ‘every word that comes from the mouth of God’ and making sure our hearts are clean and we are ‘filled with the Spirit not drunk on wine.’ How else could we ‘pay attention?’ Out of the heart the mouth speaks—we have an opportunity everyday to see what is in the hearts of our children if we listen to them…and to the voice of the Holy Spirit.

I want to LISTEN to the desires in the hearts of my children and watch what they are interested in and how God has uniquely designed them.  I want to cultivate the garden of their souls, planting His seed in their hearts, pulling the weeds, and planting in every area so something else not of Him does not spring up.  By His grace I can do this. By His grace alone, I am learning to be content with the portion He gave me. By His grace I will keep my eyes fixed on Him, the Author and Perfecter of faith. 

What an honor to pray my children into His kingdom.  To love them into His Kingdom.  To help them learn to hear His voice and help them be lights in this world wherever He sends them. What a purpose I have in God’s plan! This realization and revelation causes my soul to rest. I do not desire to be anywhere but where He has me and I consider that His grace. I am thankful I can re-read this post and reflect on this stone of remembrance for those days I ‘forget’ my calling as a Mother.

What about you? Are you resting? Do you see your purpose as a parent in God’s plan to love your children into the kingdom? To listen and pay attention to all He tells you?  If you are not a parent yet, are you preparing your heart now by drawing near to the One who will help you raise them?

I’m praying for you dear reader…

“…that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe. These are in accordance with the working of the strength of His might which He brought about in Christ, when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. And He put all things in subjection under His feet, and gave Him as head over all things to the church, which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all. (Ephesians 1:18-23)


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